Nearly Hair
“Nothing, is what it appears to be, when it's only with your eyes you see.”
― N'Zuri Za Austin
Cia Edwards

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Although putting on fancy dresses and wearing lemonade braids down my back was great for social media likes, I wouldn’t be able to post these pictures without the confidence I’ve learned on my self-awareness journey.

Like most, it was an immediate struggle finding my own image within a society filled with high profile elites and high end brand commercials constantly telling you your beauty lies within the brand you wear. As I reflect on my past journey I have become very thankful for 4 reasons in particular.


1. I am thankful for the naps that I had to struggle through

My kinky tightly coiled strands have taught me patience. I can’t possibly achieve a great style without time. There are some mornings when I just want to throw my hair in a ponytail and race out of the house, but my hair does not permit me to do so. There were times earlier on in my hair journey where I wanted my hair to reach past my ears but of course that wouldn’t happen overnight. Like anything else that you want to flourish and grow, it takes times. Thank you naps for granting me patience!


2. I am thankful for the bad hair days

Sometimes we rely so heavily on appearance. Guess what? Appearances don’’t hold nearly as much value as attitudes! On my worse hair day my attitude has to make up for my appearance which in turns brings out the best in my personality. Some may say, I’m “overcompensating” for a flaw, but I say it’s the girt in my smile and blossom in my voice that makes my attitude shine brighter than anything else!


3. I am thankful for the decision I made to cut out relaxers

Though I only had a relaxer for about 4 years of my life, those four years I really neglected the health of my hair. It was in those four years where I noticed I had fell victim to a chemical addiction. An unhealthy addiction at that. Though relaxers, if applied by a professional, can be quite safe, in the overhaul, the chemicals and fumes you may accidentally inhale during the application can be horrid! After I decided to cut out the relaxers, my lifestyle choices changed as well , and it was then that I was able to life a holistic healthier lifestyle. Or at least try!

4. I am thankful for the new friends and communities I have built on the road to happiness

During this natural journey, please trust me it was not easy. From the harsh stares, and the confused glares, it really takes a toll on a person’s psyche. Thanks to CurlyNIkki forums and a few trips to New York City, I was able to build a network of women who also took pride in their natural hair. They were so supportive and to this day I know I can always call on them to talk about the highs and lows in life. The thing about networks and communities is not the exclusivity based upon your characteristics but instead a place for individuals to feel included when the rest of the world tells you you're different.

Being thankful shows gratitude to not only others, but to yourself as well. Please share your thoughts of Gratitude below! Or send me a tweet at http://www.twitter.com/nearlycia

4 Reasons I am Thankful This Season

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Cia Edwards

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your adornment must not be merely external--braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

Although putting on fancy dresses and wearing lemonade braids down my back was great for social media likes, I wouldn’t be able to post these pictures without the confidence I’ve learned on my self-awareness journey.

Like most, it was an immediate struggle finding my own image within a society filled with high profile elites and high end brand commercials constantly telling you your beauty lies within the brand you wear. As I reflect on my past journey I have become very thankful for 4 reasons in particular.


1. I am thankful for the naps that I had to struggle through

My kinky tightly coiled strands have taught me patience. I can’t possibly achieve a great style without time. There are some mornings when I just want to throw my hair in a ponytail and race out of the house, but my hair does not permit me to do so. There were times earlier on in my hair journey where I wanted my hair to reach past my ears but of course that wouldn’t happen overnight. Like anything else that you want to flourish and grow, it takes times. Thank you naps for granting me patience!


2. I am thankful for the bad hair days

Sometimes we rely so heavily on appearance. Guess what? Appearances don’’t hold nearly as much value as attitudes! On my worse hair day my attitude has to make up for my appearance which in turns brings out the best in my personality. Some may say, I’m “overcompensating” for a flaw, but I say it’s the girt in my smile and blossom in my voice that makes my attitude shine brighter than anything else!


3. I am thankful for the decision I made to cut out relaxers

Though I only had a relaxer for about 4 years of my life, those four years I really neglected the health of my hair. It was in those four years where I noticed I had fell victim to a chemical addiction. An unhealthy addiction at that. Though relaxers, if applied by a professional, can be quite safe, in the overhaul, the chemicals and fumes you may accidentally inhale during the application can be horrid! After I decided to cut out the relaxers, my lifestyle choices changed as well , and it was then that I was able to life a holistic healthier lifestyle. Or at least try!

4. I am thankful for the new friends and communities I have built on the road to happiness

During this natural journey, please trust me it was not easy. From the harsh stares, and the confused glares, it really takes a toll on a person’s psyche. Thanks to CurlyNIkki forums and a few trips to New York City, I was able to build a network of women who also took pride in their natural hair. They were so supportive and to this day I know I can always call on them to talk about the highs and lows in life. The thing about networks and communities is not the exclusivity based upon your characteristics but instead a place for individuals to feel included when the rest of the world tells you you're different.

Being thankful shows gratitude to not only others, but to yourself as well. Please share your thoughts of Gratitude below! Or send me a tweet at http://www.twitter.com/nearlycia

5 Ways to Stay Cheerful During the Holidays


celebrate the holudays
The most wonderful time of year is upon us. It’s a time for laughter, great food, and social gatherings. You can also be easily overwhelmed and stressed due to holiday obligations. Friends and family, office parties, and gift exchanges can result in feeling drained and emotionally overextended. However, the few weeks between Thanksgiving and the New Year don’t have to be cumbersome. There are several ways to gain and maintain a cheerful mood during the holiday season. Krystal from Simply Being Kryssie and I created a list to ensure your happiness.


1. It’s okay to Say No 


It’s easy to get caught up in attending one event to the next. The schedule can fill up quickly during this time and you may find yourself having little down time in between work and your other obligations. It’s important to set boundaries and let others know your expectations for the holiday season. If you don’t want to go to that family member’s house, then don’t or limit the amount of time you will be there. Let people know if you can or cannot be involved in a holiday event (including Secret Santa, cookie exchanges, parties etc) and relieve some of the pressure to be involved in everything. Picking one or several events you will partake in allows you to have some control and also let’s other people know what to expect from you. You ultimately control your decisions, don’t let the holiday season rid you of that power.


2. Engage in gratitude 


With all of the marketing during this season, one would think it is strictly about getting gifts. And while getting and giving gifts can be happiness inducing, the result is short term. One helpful way to remember the reason for the season is to create a space of gratitude. This can involve taking five minutes to bring awareness to your environment with mindful breathing or meditation. You can also
holiday fireplacedesignate a physical space in the home where you feel peaceful such as a sitting room where you can add aromas from essential oils and candles. Creating a list of things you are grateful for and reviewing the list daily will surely assist in increasing feelings of gratitude. The list could include items as simple as, being grateful a good night's rest, or being grateful for having time to read a good book. Often times we become stuck in routines that disengages us from really feeling present. Having time to really engage in gratitude resurfaces our awareness and brings attention to our many blessings.

3. Be mindful with your time


There are only 24 hours in a day, you cannot be everywhere for everybody. The holidays hustle and bustle can cause us to neglect ourselves. It is important to maintain a self-care routine. This involves taking an inventory of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions each day in the form of a check-in, just as you would with your best friend or spouse. Being mindful of what you are doing with your time helps improve productivity. Be sure to schedule time to rest and recharge. You aren’t useful to anyone or yourself if you are depleted. Challenge yourself to take at least 10 minutes daily to engage in positive self-care.

4. Check in with others


We’ve all been there. Mom wants dinner at her house, your cousin wants to bring his new girlfriend, you have several dinner invitations on the same day. Ugh. It can seem as if everyone has their own idea of what they want to do during the holidays. One way to help ease tension is to communicate your vision for the holiday season. Coordinate with others to have a collaborative vision of how the holidays should go. If you are on a budget, then set a budget limit for gift exchanges. If you enjoy hosting, volunteer to have dinner at your home or bring supplies to the designated dinner place. It is important to feel empowered to share in the holiday as you wish without all the pressure. Let others know your vision and check in with them to create a sense of togetherness.

holiday bells

5. ‘Tis the season to give


Typically around this time of year, most major corporations push for donations to aid those in need. There are over thousands of children and families who don’t have a warm dining room to sit and enjoy dinner. Nor a tree to share gifts under. As we are preparing for the holidays, let’s try to remember those who less fortunate. Giving back to those in need instills a sense of altruism within us. This doesn't mean that you have to always donate physical items to charities, you could in fact help those in need by volunteering at a local food pantry, or cooking a hot meal for a family that you know is struggling. Remember that your presence holds value, and just showing up to help is worth millions. Put a smile on someone else’s face this season, and I guarantee you will smile back in return.

How do you stay cheerful during the Holidays? Drop a comment below 


Visit Krystal's Blog:
www.simplybeingkryssie.com

5 Ways to Stay Cheerful During the Holidays

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

5 Ways to Stay Cheerful During the Holidays


celebrate the holudays
The most wonderful time of year is upon us. It’s a time for laughter, great food, and social gatherings. You can also be easily overwhelmed and stressed due to holiday obligations. Friends and family, office parties, and gift exchanges can result in feeling drained and emotionally overextended. However, the few weeks between Thanksgiving and the New Year don’t have to be cumbersome. There are several ways to gain and maintain a cheerful mood during the holiday season. Krystal from Simply Being Kryssie and I created a list to ensure your happiness.


1. It’s okay to Say No 


It’s easy to get caught up in attending one event to the next. The schedule can fill up quickly during this time and you may find yourself having little down time in between work and your other obligations. It’s important to set boundaries and let others know your expectations for the holiday season. If you don’t want to go to that family member’s house, then don’t or limit the amount of time you will be there. Let people know if you can or cannot be involved in a holiday event (including Secret Santa, cookie exchanges, parties etc) and relieve some of the pressure to be involved in everything. Picking one or several events you will partake in allows you to have some control and also let’s other people know what to expect from you. You ultimately control your decisions, don’t let the holiday season rid you of that power.


2. Engage in gratitude 


With all of the marketing during this season, one would think it is strictly about getting gifts. And while getting and giving gifts can be happiness inducing, the result is short term. One helpful way to remember the reason for the season is to create a space of gratitude. This can involve taking five minutes to bring awareness to your environment with mindful breathing or meditation. You can also
holiday fireplacedesignate a physical space in the home where you feel peaceful such as a sitting room where you can add aromas from essential oils and candles. Creating a list of things you are grateful for and reviewing the list daily will surely assist in increasing feelings of gratitude. The list could include items as simple as, being grateful a good night's rest, or being grateful for having time to read a good book. Often times we become stuck in routines that disengages us from really feeling present. Having time to really engage in gratitude resurfaces our awareness and brings attention to our many blessings.

3. Be mindful with your time


There are only 24 hours in a day, you cannot be everywhere for everybody. The holidays hustle and bustle can cause us to neglect ourselves. It is important to maintain a self-care routine. This involves taking an inventory of your thoughts, feelings, and emotions each day in the form of a check-in, just as you would with your best friend or spouse. Being mindful of what you are doing with your time helps improve productivity. Be sure to schedule time to rest and recharge. You aren’t useful to anyone or yourself if you are depleted. Challenge yourself to take at least 10 minutes daily to engage in positive self-care.

4. Check in with others


We’ve all been there. Mom wants dinner at her house, your cousin wants to bring his new girlfriend, you have several dinner invitations on the same day. Ugh. It can seem as if everyone has their own idea of what they want to do during the holidays. One way to help ease tension is to communicate your vision for the holiday season. Coordinate with others to have a collaborative vision of how the holidays should go. If you are on a budget, then set a budget limit for gift exchanges. If you enjoy hosting, volunteer to have dinner at your home or bring supplies to the designated dinner place. It is important to feel empowered to share in the holiday as you wish without all the pressure. Let others know your vision and check in with them to create a sense of togetherness.

holiday bells

5. ‘Tis the season to give


Typically around this time of year, most major corporations push for donations to aid those in need. There are over thousands of children and families who don’t have a warm dining room to sit and enjoy dinner. Nor a tree to share gifts under. As we are preparing for the holidays, let’s try to remember those who less fortunate. Giving back to those in need instills a sense of altruism within us. This doesn't mean that you have to always donate physical items to charities, you could in fact help those in need by volunteering at a local food pantry, or cooking a hot meal for a family that you know is struggling. Remember that your presence holds value, and just showing up to help is worth millions. Put a smile on someone else’s face this season, and I guarantee you will smile back in return.

How do you stay cheerful during the Holidays? Drop a comment below 


Visit Krystal's Blog:
www.simplybeingkryssie.com
It's friday again, and that means it's time for this weeks Friday feature! This young lady has truly been an inspiration to me on instagram. Her intelligence and poise is compelling and I just had to share her with you all. It always excites me when I find other natural hair beauties on the interwebs doing amazing things. Enough of my jabbering, 

Let's meet Anita! 




Hi there, my name is Anita Ginigeme


I'm actually African-American, born in Georgia, Atlanta, though currently based in Nigeria. I hail from Anambra State, Nigeria.

My blog and interests are linked as my blog was borne out of my interests: beauty as a whole including natural hair.
I've grown to embrace the essence of natural beauty in all its glory.

Getting rid of the 'creamy crack' wasn't a straight forward decision. Growing up in a strict home, a number of wrong doings led you to finding yourself beneath the barber's clipper.
Henceforth, I decided to tread the natural path and discover what it had in store for me - I knew that returning natural would be a page turner for me, and it was! This was in 2009, when natural hair appreciation wasn't what it is in this present day.


I wouldn't say I had a support system because there wasn't much rave about natural hair at that time like there is now. I would see ladies flaunting long, natural hair and just knew that someday and somehow I'd get to my desired length. 
I didn't know what to do to my hair as I kept jumping from protective style to the next!
While in my low-cut stage though, I hid my hair under scarves and caps to avoid questions like, "Oh my! Why did you cut your hair?" When I discovered threading and the wonders it did for my hair, I got a better understanding of my hair and then the compliments started rolling in.

Although my mum kept saying one thing I've held unto all these years, "You've got good hair, just like your mother and your grandmother." You know what, it turned out to be true!



Everyone has their goals and an idea of what they want their hair to look like - So do I. Some natural hairlistas that inspire me are Cisca Omoja (@ciscakinks on Instagram) and Adebanjo Tomiwa (@adebanjotomiwa on Instagram). Most importantly, my hair inspires me to be better to it each and everyday.

Oh no sister! I don't joke with my leave-in and here's why: It triples for me as a detangler, moisturiser and leave-in all in one! You better believe it because it's true. I'm talking about the Aunt Jackie's Instant Detangling Therapy. I've been hooked for months on end.
Of course it's one thing getting that moisture in there, and another getting it to stay. So to keep that yummy substance locked into my strands, I opt for Grade A Organic Shea Butter.
Unlike some naturalistas, I don't pour oil all over the entirety of my hair. Rather, I use it lightly for "sheen" and of course good 'ol "hot oil treatment."

It took 7 years -no joke- but I can proudly stand tall and proclaim how much I love my hair and every individual strand it constitutes of. I've stopped longing for other textures and envying others with laid edges - the headaches I was left with after tying those edges down with scarves to get that Eco Styler working was enough to discourage me. Most importantly I've learned to be artistic and authentic, thanks to my hair.





Now let me get very real with you, it is quite intimidating - especially in the beginning - but the important thing is that this space belongs to you. It's yours to do as you please, to dispense information, to make your thoughts heard and voice your own opinions. Allow me to tell you a little story...
Before I owned a blog I was a contributor to a well known beauty blog (@beautygeekng on Instagram). I wrote my first pice and it felt amazing beyond expression. I took a little break which turned into months (a mistake on my part) and when I came back, it took the editor -in- chief almost a month to review and criticize my next piece. Upon correction, I still hadn't heard from her. I took that disappointment and channeled it into starting my own blog,and I did launch it with a bang baby!
So, yes, it might be intimidating, but never underestimate the power of consistency because it puts you out there, it gets you noticed, it separates you from invisibility and then the growth becomes noticeable.

"No man is an island," said a wise man once. He was indeed wise because if a man was an island, where would he derive inspiration from? Again, who would he inspire? We need to surround ourselves with people bearing a certain kind of energy we wish to attract.
I have a circle of friends and acquaintances who inspire me everyday with the great things they do and the big dreams they have. Seeing the people around you thrive will make you want to strive.
Most importantly, thinking of how bright my future is, I'm inspired by my dreams each and everyday to do whatever it'll take to get me closer.

Apart from blogging and blogging, I do own a business - I retail hair care products at the best,
unimaginable bargains. Alongside that, I create hair regimens tailored towards a person's specific hair needs and goals. I also promote hair care brands and so I'm a brand influencer as well.
The biggest challenge initially was creating awareness and getting customers. I had the best prices and naturally, I assumed I'd get a flock of followers and sell out in no time. It wasn't that easy. First off, if you arent humbled, you need to be - this will show in your tone during a conversation.You also have develop a spirit a communication which will come in handy in customer service - no man is an island; it takes two to make a transaction. Another thing is engagement - e.g. you're scrolling through Instagram and you see a comment whereby someone is asking where they can get a certain product they probably saw in a tutorial or in a review; Lo and behold! You have it in stock. Quickly engage that customer not only informing them of the product in stock, but convincing them why it would be in their best interest to shop with you. Apart from social media, never be too shy to approach whosoever you seem a potential client face - to - face. It's your career and since you wish to succeed, you can't sit pretty waiting on the flick of a wand to do the job for you.
Last thing is consistency - you have to keep at it and keep giving your audience something tangible. Give them knowledge worth value alongside advertising products of value, and they're bound to be glued.
All these are bound to pay off eventually.

Now and then, people come up to me and they go, " You're Anita? I love what you do. You're doing such a good job. Keep it up. I'm so proud of you."
The first time this happened I was dumb struck because I felt I wasn't even making the impact I desired, but guess what, I was impacting some people without even knowing. This is what gets me filming those tutorials and creating those interactive and catchy content you all love.

My Signature hairstyle is my signature faux bun (tutorial on my Instagram @nitarrh)
As for writing style, I try to get as personal as I can with the reader and try to connect with different chracters (readers) in one piece. After giving my view on a certain concept or product, I list other possibe views that at least varying readers can relate to. In the end, there's something for everybody.


I'm already making waves by God's Grace and I see myself (and blog included ) making bigger waves in the years to come. I've come from being nominated as one of Nigeria's Top Bloggers to being recognised as a one-of-a-kind influencer. Grace is evident in all my works.


I'm everyehere hunnay!

Instagram | @nitarrh
Twitter | @nitarrh
Snapchat | nitarrh
Email: anita.ginigeme@yahoo.com
■ Blog | https://kinkycoachng.wordpress.com

I know, I understand. You don't want to dive into a space that seems saturated but you have to believe that you can stand out and you will succeed darling! You are unlike any other. So what are you waiting on? Own that blog! Disperse that information!

I have learned so much but it would seem that I have learned the most in this my 8th year since returning natural.
I've learned :
• To tweak whatever new knowledge I gain to suit 'MY HAIR' .
• To be content with my hair and accept it is as good hair.
• To nurture my hair as good as I want it to be and that it shall be!
• Most of all, my hair journey has made me into an ARTISTIC and AUTHENTIC WOMAN who is ASSERTIVE about her hair.

Would you like to be featured? Send an email to inquire@nearlyhair.com

Afros & Artisans: Anita Edition

Friday, November 17, 2017

It's friday again, and that means it's time for this weeks Friday feature! This young lady has truly been an inspiration to me on instagram. Her intelligence and poise is compelling and I just had to share her with you all. It always excites me when I find other natural hair beauties on the interwebs doing amazing things. Enough of my jabbering, 

Let's meet Anita! 




Hi there, my name is Anita Ginigeme


I'm actually African-American, born in Georgia, Atlanta, though currently based in Nigeria. I hail from Anambra State, Nigeria.

My blog and interests are linked as my blog was borne out of my interests: beauty as a whole including natural hair.
I've grown to embrace the essence of natural beauty in all its glory.

Getting rid of the 'creamy crack' wasn't a straight forward decision. Growing up in a strict home, a number of wrong doings led you to finding yourself beneath the barber's clipper.
Henceforth, I decided to tread the natural path and discover what it had in store for me - I knew that returning natural would be a page turner for me, and it was! This was in 2009, when natural hair appreciation wasn't what it is in this present day.


I wouldn't say I had a support system because there wasn't much rave about natural hair at that time like there is now. I would see ladies flaunting long, natural hair and just knew that someday and somehow I'd get to my desired length. 
I didn't know what to do to my hair as I kept jumping from protective style to the next!
While in my low-cut stage though, I hid my hair under scarves and caps to avoid questions like, "Oh my! Why did you cut your hair?" When I discovered threading and the wonders it did for my hair, I got a better understanding of my hair and then the compliments started rolling in.

Although my mum kept saying one thing I've held unto all these years, "You've got good hair, just like your mother and your grandmother." You know what, it turned out to be true!



Everyone has their goals and an idea of what they want their hair to look like - So do I. Some natural hairlistas that inspire me are Cisca Omoja (@ciscakinks on Instagram) and Adebanjo Tomiwa (@adebanjotomiwa on Instagram). Most importantly, my hair inspires me to be better to it each and everyday.

Oh no sister! I don't joke with my leave-in and here's why: It triples for me as a detangler, moisturiser and leave-in all in one! You better believe it because it's true. I'm talking about the Aunt Jackie's Instant Detangling Therapy. I've been hooked for months on end.
Of course it's one thing getting that moisture in there, and another getting it to stay. So to keep that yummy substance locked into my strands, I opt for Grade A Organic Shea Butter.
Unlike some naturalistas, I don't pour oil all over the entirety of my hair. Rather, I use it lightly for "sheen" and of course good 'ol "hot oil treatment."

It took 7 years -no joke- but I can proudly stand tall and proclaim how much I love my hair and every individual strand it constitutes of. I've stopped longing for other textures and envying others with laid edges - the headaches I was left with after tying those edges down with scarves to get that Eco Styler working was enough to discourage me. Most importantly I've learned to be artistic and authentic, thanks to my hair.





Now let me get very real with you, it is quite intimidating - especially in the beginning - but the important thing is that this space belongs to you. It's yours to do as you please, to dispense information, to make your thoughts heard and voice your own opinions. Allow me to tell you a little story...
Before I owned a blog I was a contributor to a well known beauty blog (@beautygeekng on Instagram). I wrote my first pice and it felt amazing beyond expression. I took a little break which turned into months (a mistake on my part) and when I came back, it took the editor -in- chief almost a month to review and criticize my next piece. Upon correction, I still hadn't heard from her. I took that disappointment and channeled it into starting my own blog,and I did launch it with a bang baby!
So, yes, it might be intimidating, but never underestimate the power of consistency because it puts you out there, it gets you noticed, it separates you from invisibility and then the growth becomes noticeable.

"No man is an island," said a wise man once. He was indeed wise because if a man was an island, where would he derive inspiration from? Again, who would he inspire? We need to surround ourselves with people bearing a certain kind of energy we wish to attract.
I have a circle of friends and acquaintances who inspire me everyday with the great things they do and the big dreams they have. Seeing the people around you thrive will make you want to strive.
Most importantly, thinking of how bright my future is, I'm inspired by my dreams each and everyday to do whatever it'll take to get me closer.

Apart from blogging and blogging, I do own a business - I retail hair care products at the best,
unimaginable bargains. Alongside that, I create hair regimens tailored towards a person's specific hair needs and goals. I also promote hair care brands and so I'm a brand influencer as well.
The biggest challenge initially was creating awareness and getting customers. I had the best prices and naturally, I assumed I'd get a flock of followers and sell out in no time. It wasn't that easy. First off, if you arent humbled, you need to be - this will show in your tone during a conversation.You also have develop a spirit a communication which will come in handy in customer service - no man is an island; it takes two to make a transaction. Another thing is engagement - e.g. you're scrolling through Instagram and you see a comment whereby someone is asking where they can get a certain product they probably saw in a tutorial or in a review; Lo and behold! You have it in stock. Quickly engage that customer not only informing them of the product in stock, but convincing them why it would be in their best interest to shop with you. Apart from social media, never be too shy to approach whosoever you seem a potential client face - to - face. It's your career and since you wish to succeed, you can't sit pretty waiting on the flick of a wand to do the job for you.
Last thing is consistency - you have to keep at it and keep giving your audience something tangible. Give them knowledge worth value alongside advertising products of value, and they're bound to be glued.
All these are bound to pay off eventually.

Now and then, people come up to me and they go, " You're Anita? I love what you do. You're doing such a good job. Keep it up. I'm so proud of you."
The first time this happened I was dumb struck because I felt I wasn't even making the impact I desired, but guess what, I was impacting some people without even knowing. This is what gets me filming those tutorials and creating those interactive and catchy content you all love.

My Signature hairstyle is my signature faux bun (tutorial on my Instagram @nitarrh)
As for writing style, I try to get as personal as I can with the reader and try to connect with different chracters (readers) in one piece. After giving my view on a certain concept or product, I list other possibe views that at least varying readers can relate to. In the end, there's something for everybody.


I'm already making waves by God's Grace and I see myself (and blog included ) making bigger waves in the years to come. I've come from being nominated as one of Nigeria's Top Bloggers to being recognised as a one-of-a-kind influencer. Grace is evident in all my works.


I'm everyehere hunnay!

Instagram | @nitarrh
Twitter | @nitarrh
Snapchat | nitarrh
Email: anita.ginigeme@yahoo.com
■ Blog | https://kinkycoachng.wordpress.com

I know, I understand. You don't want to dive into a space that seems saturated but you have to believe that you can stand out and you will succeed darling! You are unlike any other. So what are you waiting on? Own that blog! Disperse that information!

I have learned so much but it would seem that I have learned the most in this my 8th year since returning natural.
I've learned :
• To tweak whatever new knowledge I gain to suit 'MY HAIR' .
• To be content with my hair and accept it is as good hair.
• To nurture my hair as good as I want it to be and that it shall be!
• Most of all, my hair journey has made me into an ARTISTIC and AUTHENTIC WOMAN who is ASSERTIVE about her hair.

Would you like to be featured? Send an email to inquire@nearlyhair.com


As the holidays approach, be more tempted to decorate your home rather than your stomachs!!


It’s around this time of year, people tend to throw all of their healthy eating habits out the window to indulge in festive foods and fried delights. “I’m going to treat myself,” they say, not knowing that one treat may turn into two month's of damage.


This is not to deter you from enjoying your holidays because trust me, I sneak in a few spoons of sweet potato pie and mac and cheese very often, but instead this should provide you with a few tricks and tips to help you make wiser choices during the holiday season so you don’t regret it on January 2nd of the following year.


Don’t skip meals on the day of the event

If you are anything like me, then you find yourself not eating breakfast on holidays like thanksgiving because you know there will be loads of goodies to eat later that day. If this sounds like you, stop skipping meals! We tend to overeat and fill our plates with a lot of food because our eyes equate an abundance of food with being full. If you have the time to eat in the morning, especially on a holiday, do so. You will be less tempted to fill your plate with extra scoops of potatoes because your body won’t be in starvation mode. Just because you’ll be eating great foods later in the day it doesn’t mean that you have to mistreat your body and skip the nutrients it needs in the morning.


Only Eat when you’re hungry

I am definitely a third plate culprit. When there is a huge spread of food assortments in front of me and my plate is way too small, please believe I will fill two more plates with the foods I haven’t yet tried. Give yourself some time to digest your food this holiday season. If you wait about thirty minutes after you’ve eaten your first plate of food, you may realize that you weren’t really hungry at all. Only revisit the food table when you’re absolutely hungry to reduce the chance of ingesting unnecessary calories.



Take Smaller portions of foods

As I mentioned before, sometimes our eyes are larger than our stomachs, meaning we think we are hungry because we see food but we really aren’t. When you are filling your plate up with food try taking smaller portions of the corn bread or chicken. Once you’ve eaten let the food digest for a while and if you’re still hungry because the portions were way too small, then grab a second plate of food with small portions as well. Empty spaces are always great on a plate, so make sure you can still see your plate after you shared yourself food.

Drink a glass of water before your meal

The times we feel like we are super hungry could be great indications of true thirst. Practice drinking an 8 ounce glass of water before eating your meal. The water will hydrate you and decrease your need to eat large portions of food. You’re supposed to drink half your body weight in water anyway so why not get a glass in before your meal?


Skip the dressing

For my salad lovers, try finding a dressing substitute this year. Yes, the thousand island dressing, and wishbone French dressings are to die for, however they pack on a lot of unnecessary calories and sugars, that are much better spent on a nice dessert. If you are unsure of alternatives to dressings you can try to use a nice olive oil mixture to spice up your salad. Or, don’t use dressing at all!

Bring a healthy dish to the festivities

If it’s Thanksgiving and you don’t want to be tempted by your grandmother’s pie, or that cheesy mac and cheese, try making a healthy dish to bring. Share the concept of healthy eating and commitment if you don’t care for indulging in fatty foods.



Plan ahead

My family usually coordinates who’s bringing what dish and what time dinner will start. I get super excited at thought of turkey and curry chicken as they are always staples during the holidays. Because I know what exactly will be there I am able to plan what I am going to eat ahead of time. It may sound weird but if i'm going to ruminate on the awesome food ahead of me, I might as well plan my meal ahead of time, this way when I get to the event I won’t feel overwhelmed with deciding what to eat.

Family before Food

Even though food is clearly the main attraction this holiday season don’t forget that family is first. Focus on your family and the amazing things occuring in their lives right now. Be thankful for all of the connections and family memebers you still have in your world. Food will come and go but family is forever.



What is your favorite dish this upcoming holiday season?

Decorate your homes instead of your stomachs: Healthy Holiday Tips

Friday, November 10, 2017


As the holidays approach, be more tempted to decorate your home rather than your stomachs!!


It’s around this time of year, people tend to throw all of their healthy eating habits out the window to indulge in festive foods and fried delights. “I’m going to treat myself,” they say, not knowing that one treat may turn into two month's of damage.


This is not to deter you from enjoying your holidays because trust me, I sneak in a few spoons of sweet potato pie and mac and cheese very often, but instead this should provide you with a few tricks and tips to help you make wiser choices during the holiday season so you don’t regret it on January 2nd of the following year.


Don’t skip meals on the day of the event

If you are anything like me, then you find yourself not eating breakfast on holidays like thanksgiving because you know there will be loads of goodies to eat later that day. If this sounds like you, stop skipping meals! We tend to overeat and fill our plates with a lot of food because our eyes equate an abundance of food with being full. If you have the time to eat in the morning, especially on a holiday, do so. You will be less tempted to fill your plate with extra scoops of potatoes because your body won’t be in starvation mode. Just because you’ll be eating great foods later in the day it doesn’t mean that you have to mistreat your body and skip the nutrients it needs in the morning.


Only Eat when you’re hungry

I am definitely a third plate culprit. When there is a huge spread of food assortments in front of me and my plate is way too small, please believe I will fill two more plates with the foods I haven’t yet tried. Give yourself some time to digest your food this holiday season. If you wait about thirty minutes after you’ve eaten your first plate of food, you may realize that you weren’t really hungry at all. Only revisit the food table when you’re absolutely hungry to reduce the chance of ingesting unnecessary calories.



Take Smaller portions of foods

As I mentioned before, sometimes our eyes are larger than our stomachs, meaning we think we are hungry because we see food but we really aren’t. When you are filling your plate up with food try taking smaller portions of the corn bread or chicken. Once you’ve eaten let the food digest for a while and if you’re still hungry because the portions were way too small, then grab a second plate of food with small portions as well. Empty spaces are always great on a plate, so make sure you can still see your plate after you shared yourself food.

Drink a glass of water before your meal

The times we feel like we are super hungry could be great indications of true thirst. Practice drinking an 8 ounce glass of water before eating your meal. The water will hydrate you and decrease your need to eat large portions of food. You’re supposed to drink half your body weight in water anyway so why not get a glass in before your meal?


Skip the dressing

For my salad lovers, try finding a dressing substitute this year. Yes, the thousand island dressing, and wishbone French dressings are to die for, however they pack on a lot of unnecessary calories and sugars, that are much better spent on a nice dessert. If you are unsure of alternatives to dressings you can try to use a nice olive oil mixture to spice up your salad. Or, don’t use dressing at all!

Bring a healthy dish to the festivities

If it’s Thanksgiving and you don’t want to be tempted by your grandmother’s pie, or that cheesy mac and cheese, try making a healthy dish to bring. Share the concept of healthy eating and commitment if you don’t care for indulging in fatty foods.



Plan ahead

My family usually coordinates who’s bringing what dish and what time dinner will start. I get super excited at thought of turkey and curry chicken as they are always staples during the holidays. Because I know what exactly will be there I am able to plan what I am going to eat ahead of time. It may sound weird but if i'm going to ruminate on the awesome food ahead of me, I might as well plan my meal ahead of time, this way when I get to the event I won’t feel overwhelmed with deciding what to eat.

Family before Food

Even though food is clearly the main attraction this holiday season don’t forget that family is first. Focus on your family and the amazing things occuring in their lives right now. Be thankful for all of the connections and family memebers you still have in your world. Food will come and go but family is forever.



What is your favorite dish this upcoming holiday season?



We take vacations to de-stress unwind, and if you are like me, have sips of wine carefree.

But what happens when you return from vacation?

All too often, the end of a vacation is accompanied with Mr. Vacation-blues and Mrs. WorkOverload-stress.

Whether you are an employee or an independent business owner, returning from vacation typically leaves you feeling like you need another vacation from the return.

3 useful tips that can help you ease back into your “normal life” to stress those vacation blues away

1. Before you leave for your trip, be sure to organize your return
We don’t typically think about what life will be like when we return to our normal lives. We are usually too concerned with packing that perfect bathing suit, or making sure we get to the airport on time to find a seat with a charger for our devices. Something that I have found helpful upon returning from vacation is having a schedule for myself so I know what emails need to be answered first, and what tasks need to be prioritized at home so that you can actually see my bedroom floor. Yes I know the thought of scheduling may make you cringe, but even if it’s a simple to do list for your return will be useful. Trust me!

2. Plan your next vacation before your first vacation is over


If you are great with your finances or at least capable of having vacation funds, why not plan your next trip? We work entirely way too hard to neglect the desires of our hearts. Don’t make your last vacation your “last” vacation. Give yourself something to look forward to before the end of your next vacation. This way when you are back at work your subconscious mind will be motivated to work towards that much needed vacation.

3. Make your home smell like tranquility!
I don’t know about you all, but I love candles and incents. Did you know that our sense of smell is connected to our emotions? When you smell something it connects to the olfactory bulb in your brains which then connects to your hippocampus which is partially responsible for your emotions?

One of the first things I do when I get home from a vacation is light one of my favorite candles to evoke a sense of peace. Because I try my hardest to live a holistic lifestyle. I try to aim for candles that are all natural and don’t have those crazy toxins. I aim for brands like Naturalannie Essentials, or Mountain Rose Herbs.

I LOVE natural candles so much that I have a discount code for you guys to use in case you want to destress. Use “Cia10” at checkout for Naturalannie Essentials.

Hopefully these tips will help you recover from your vacation blues as they have helped me tremendously.

What do you do to destress, once vacation is over? Leave a comment below.

3 Ways to Recover from Vacation Blues

Wednesday, November 1, 2017




We take vacations to de-stress unwind, and if you are like me, have sips of wine carefree.

But what happens when you return from vacation?

All too often, the end of a vacation is accompanied with Mr. Vacation-blues and Mrs. WorkOverload-stress.

Whether you are an employee or an independent business owner, returning from vacation typically leaves you feeling like you need another vacation from the return.

3 useful tips that can help you ease back into your “normal life” to stress those vacation blues away

1. Before you leave for your trip, be sure to organize your return
We don’t typically think about what life will be like when we return to our normal lives. We are usually too concerned with packing that perfect bathing suit, or making sure we get to the airport on time to find a seat with a charger for our devices. Something that I have found helpful upon returning from vacation is having a schedule for myself so I know what emails need to be answered first, and what tasks need to be prioritized at home so that you can actually see my bedroom floor. Yes I know the thought of scheduling may make you cringe, but even if it’s a simple to do list for your return will be useful. Trust me!

2. Plan your next vacation before your first vacation is over


If you are great with your finances or at least capable of having vacation funds, why not plan your next trip? We work entirely way too hard to neglect the desires of our hearts. Don’t make your last vacation your “last” vacation. Give yourself something to look forward to before the end of your next vacation. This way when you are back at work your subconscious mind will be motivated to work towards that much needed vacation.

3. Make your home smell like tranquility!
I don’t know about you all, but I love candles and incents. Did you know that our sense of smell is connected to our emotions? When you smell something it connects to the olfactory bulb in your brains which then connects to your hippocampus which is partially responsible for your emotions?

One of the first things I do when I get home from a vacation is light one of my favorite candles to evoke a sense of peace. Because I try my hardest to live a holistic lifestyle. I try to aim for candles that are all natural and don’t have those crazy toxins. I aim for brands like Naturalannie Essentials, or Mountain Rose Herbs.

I LOVE natural candles so much that I have a discount code for you guys to use in case you want to destress. Use “Cia10” at checkout for Naturalannie Essentials.

Hopefully these tips will help you recover from your vacation blues as they have helped me tremendously.

What do you do to destress, once vacation is over? Leave a comment below.

Wash day has become the bane of my existence.

If this is your first time reading my blog then you would not have the slightest clue as to why I loathe wash day. But to make a long story short.... I am Lazy!
I call myself a lazy naturalista for a reason, not just for laughs and giggles. If you have natural hair then you know the struggle that comes along with detangling and washing and oh yea you can't forget the conditioning! It's so stressful simply because my hair is always and I mean always tangled.


How do you prepare your natural hair for wash day?

I've seen some people do pre-poos and conditioning their hair before a wash, but as I mentioned before, my arms nor drive was built for that so I try to keep my process simple.

Wash, Rinse and repeat. 

Repeat with conditioner of course, then I'm done! I personally don't see a need for a 7 step process on wash day because my 4 step process is long enough. 

Because tangled hair and dandruff always seem to be my biggest problems on wash day, I try my best to find products that will take care of these problems  simultaneously while I am washing my hair.

When Maple Holistics reached out to me to do a review on their Tea Tree Oil Shampoo and Tea Tree Oil Conditioner, I had to say of course because mere tea tree oil itself works heavens. Accepting hair products from an unknown company is always makes me cringe a little bit because our hair strands are just like any other cell in our body and can cause major reactions if it isn't paired well with a complimentary product. So you all know I'm sensitive about my ishh(In the words of Miss. Erika Badu)

What is Tea tree Oil?

Tea tree oil is an essential oil that is widely known to heal wounds because of its antiseptic properties. Most people use tee tree oil topically to treat fungal infections, such as acne or dandruff.

After this explanation you should have an idea as to why I have a love for Tea Tree Oil. 

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil Shampoo (8oz)



Price: $8.95
Claims:
Our Natural Tea Tree Oil Shampoo is the hair care solution you've been dreaming of! Boasting wonderful therapeutic benefits thanks to the incredible effects of natural tea tree oil, this shampoo can improve hair and scalp health while promoting hair growth and even slowing hair loss. Suitable for men, women, and children, our Tea Tree Oil Shampoo is cruelty-free, parabens-free, GMO-free, and gluten free.


Promotes healthy hair growth.

Can slow hair loss, shedding, and thinning hair.

Helps prevent flaking and dandruff.

Capable of soothing an irritated scalp.

Potential to naturally eradicates lice.

Leaves hair and scalp rejuvenated and fresh.

What I think: 
Upon opening the shampoo, I could immediately smell the tea tree oil, it was probably the strongest I have ever smelled as it mimicked a menthol scent. Menthol doesn't bother me much, but if you are sensitive to smell then stay clear. The shampoo had a medium consistency and I didn't have to use much of the product to get a good lather.
As I mentioned prior, washing my hair is so strenuous because the knots that form in my head are ridiculously hard to get out. Unfortunately, this shampoo made my hair even more knotted because it didn't have any slip. Please be aware, the only shampoos that do have slip are moisturizing shampoos. The Tea Tree oil shampoo stripped my hair of any oils and residue that was built up on my strands. To some, this may sound scary, but for me I enjoyed it. I like giving my hair a good clarifying wash every now and then, other wise my hair will appear limp.
I can definitely say after my first wash my scalp felt as if it could breathe again! It claims to reduce dandruff however I won't be able to truly notice results with only one or two uses. But in the present moment, the dandruff has subsided.
I probably wouldn't use this as a weekly shampoo, but on the days I want my hair to be really purified and rid of residue, this bad boy is it!
As a curly girl, you have to make sure that you are restoring your hair's natural PH balance and moisture for optimal health. In this case, if you were to use the Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil shampoo please deep condition to replenish your strands.

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil Conditioner (8oz)

Price: $12.77

Claims: 
Maple Holistics Tea Tree Conditioner provides the hair conditioning treatment you've been waiting for! By utilizing safe and effective conditioning agents - including our star ingredient, tea tree oil - our Tea Tree Conditioner will condition and soften your hair like no other. Our formula, which features complex plant derived keratin, silk protein amino acids, Vitamin B5, and more, can help you achieve a clearer, healthier scalp with the silky, easy-to-handle hair of your dreams!


Made with all-natural ingredients.

Conditions for an all-natural and satisfying result.

Utilizes quality conditioning agents.

Can improve dry, curly, thinning, frizzy, brittle, static, and wavy hair – and more!

Therapeutic-grade.


What I Think:
I applied this conditioner directly after I applied the Tea Tree Shampoo. It applied pretty smoothly and had a thicker consistency. The scent was similar to the shampoo but less potent. It offered adequate slip for the detangling process and added needed moisture back into my strands. A deep conditioning treatment was still beneficial after the shampoo process in order to really restore full moisture. With the use of this conditioner my hair was smoother than it was prior to use. I noticed that the product does include some silk protein so if you're protein sensitive (as I am sometimes) you don't want to overly use the product. 
Overall, I have mixed feelings about this product. Don't get me wrong, It was a good product but I had to use a quarter of the bottle on my kinky hair to really coat my hair, meaning I would only be able to use this product a total of four times. 


My Hair after the conditioner application

Is Maple Holistic's Tea Tree Oil Shampoo and Conditioner Good for Natural Hair Wash day?

It truly depends on what kind of wash day you are having. If this is your usual wash day routine I would say hold off on the shampoo as it may be a little too drying for our tightly coiled strands. 

If this is your clarifying wash day I said grab these bad boys with both hands and get to scrubbing your scalp! The price is pretty decent and it does a great job clarifying your scalp. If you don't have mid back length hair then the conditioner will be suitable for shorter hair types as you can get more uses out of the bottle. 

Maple Holistics Free Samples

If you would like to try this for yourself, be sure to check out Maple Holistics' website. I am not sure what you will receive but hey, if it's free you can't beat it.

Check out their free sample promotion here


Washing Natural Hair with Maple Holistics' Tea Tree Oil Shampoo and Condtioner

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Wash day has become the bane of my existence.

If this is your first time reading my blog then you would not have the slightest clue as to why I loathe wash day. But to make a long story short.... I am Lazy!
I call myself a lazy naturalista for a reason, not just for laughs and giggles. If you have natural hair then you know the struggle that comes along with detangling and washing and oh yea you can't forget the conditioning! It's so stressful simply because my hair is always and I mean always tangled.


How do you prepare your natural hair for wash day?

I've seen some people do pre-poos and conditioning their hair before a wash, but as I mentioned before, my arms nor drive was built for that so I try to keep my process simple.

Wash, Rinse and repeat. 

Repeat with conditioner of course, then I'm done! I personally don't see a need for a 7 step process on wash day because my 4 step process is long enough. 

Because tangled hair and dandruff always seem to be my biggest problems on wash day, I try my best to find products that will take care of these problems  simultaneously while I am washing my hair.

When Maple Holistics reached out to me to do a review on their Tea Tree Oil Shampoo and Tea Tree Oil Conditioner, I had to say of course because mere tea tree oil itself works heavens. Accepting hair products from an unknown company is always makes me cringe a little bit because our hair strands are just like any other cell in our body and can cause major reactions if it isn't paired well with a complimentary product. So you all know I'm sensitive about my ishh(In the words of Miss. Erika Badu)

What is Tea tree Oil?

Tea tree oil is an essential oil that is widely known to heal wounds because of its antiseptic properties. Most people use tee tree oil topically to treat fungal infections, such as acne or dandruff.

After this explanation you should have an idea as to why I have a love for Tea Tree Oil. 

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil Shampoo (8oz)



Price: $8.95
Claims:
Our Natural Tea Tree Oil Shampoo is the hair care solution you've been dreaming of! Boasting wonderful therapeutic benefits thanks to the incredible effects of natural tea tree oil, this shampoo can improve hair and scalp health while promoting hair growth and even slowing hair loss. Suitable for men, women, and children, our Tea Tree Oil Shampoo is cruelty-free, parabens-free, GMO-free, and gluten free.


Promotes healthy hair growth.

Can slow hair loss, shedding, and thinning hair.

Helps prevent flaking and dandruff.

Capable of soothing an irritated scalp.

Potential to naturally eradicates lice.

Leaves hair and scalp rejuvenated and fresh.

What I think: 
Upon opening the shampoo, I could immediately smell the tea tree oil, it was probably the strongest I have ever smelled as it mimicked a menthol scent. Menthol doesn't bother me much, but if you are sensitive to smell then stay clear. The shampoo had a medium consistency and I didn't have to use much of the product to get a good lather.
As I mentioned prior, washing my hair is so strenuous because the knots that form in my head are ridiculously hard to get out. Unfortunately, this shampoo made my hair even more knotted because it didn't have any slip. Please be aware, the only shampoos that do have slip are moisturizing shampoos. The Tea Tree oil shampoo stripped my hair of any oils and residue that was built up on my strands. To some, this may sound scary, but for me I enjoyed it. I like giving my hair a good clarifying wash every now and then, other wise my hair will appear limp.
I can definitely say after my first wash my scalp felt as if it could breathe again! It claims to reduce dandruff however I won't be able to truly notice results with only one or two uses. But in the present moment, the dandruff has subsided.
I probably wouldn't use this as a weekly shampoo, but on the days I want my hair to be really purified and rid of residue, this bad boy is it!
As a curly girl, you have to make sure that you are restoring your hair's natural PH balance and moisture for optimal health. In this case, if you were to use the Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil shampoo please deep condition to replenish your strands.

Maple Holistics Tea Tree Oil Conditioner (8oz)

Price: $12.77

Claims: 
Maple Holistics Tea Tree Conditioner provides the hair conditioning treatment you've been waiting for! By utilizing safe and effective conditioning agents - including our star ingredient, tea tree oil - our Tea Tree Conditioner will condition and soften your hair like no other. Our formula, which features complex plant derived keratin, silk protein amino acids, Vitamin B5, and more, can help you achieve a clearer, healthier scalp with the silky, easy-to-handle hair of your dreams!


Made with all-natural ingredients.

Conditions for an all-natural and satisfying result.

Utilizes quality conditioning agents.

Can improve dry, curly, thinning, frizzy, brittle, static, and wavy hair – and more!

Therapeutic-grade.


What I Think:
I applied this conditioner directly after I applied the Tea Tree Shampoo. It applied pretty smoothly and had a thicker consistency. The scent was similar to the shampoo but less potent. It offered adequate slip for the detangling process and added needed moisture back into my strands. A deep conditioning treatment was still beneficial after the shampoo process in order to really restore full moisture. With the use of this conditioner my hair was smoother than it was prior to use. I noticed that the product does include some silk protein so if you're protein sensitive (as I am sometimes) you don't want to overly use the product. 
Overall, I have mixed feelings about this product. Don't get me wrong, It was a good product but I had to use a quarter of the bottle on my kinky hair to really coat my hair, meaning I would only be able to use this product a total of four times. 


My Hair after the conditioner application

Is Maple Holistic's Tea Tree Oil Shampoo and Conditioner Good for Natural Hair Wash day?

It truly depends on what kind of wash day you are having. If this is your usual wash day routine I would say hold off on the shampoo as it may be a little too drying for our tightly coiled strands. 

If this is your clarifying wash day I said grab these bad boys with both hands and get to scrubbing your scalp! The price is pretty decent and it does a great job clarifying your scalp. If you don't have mid back length hair then the conditioner will be suitable for shorter hair types as you can get more uses out of the bottle. 

Maple Holistics Free Samples

If you would like to try this for yourself, be sure to check out Maple Holistics' website. I am not sure what you will receive but hey, if it's free you can't beat it.

Check out their free sample promotion here




And they lived happily ever after…

Or maybe they didn’t. As soon as our hormones kick in, we tend to gravitate to the notion that we have to find our “soul mate”. Or even the idea that there is someone out there who matches our personality and characteristics perfectly, which make them our perfect match.

However, how many of us who are in exclusive relationship can really say we’ve met our soulmate? And for the percentage of us who think we have met our “soul mates”, how many of us can say that they are 100% perfect in every aspect of their being?

Coming from a biblical standpoint, there is nowhere in the Bible that states that God has made us a soul mate that we must be with. Before you stick a pitchfork in my mouth, and start shouting Adam and Eve, let’s go back and dissect that story briefly.
God created Eve because He stated that, man should not live alone. NOT that man has to have a perfect match! However there are multiple places in the Bible that states that God’s love is sufficient for us.

Song of Solomon 3:4 - “I have found the one whom my soul loves.” <- - - - - (not soul mate!)

Granted, there are many scriptures that do highlight the concept of our souls loving another but it doesn’t always have a romantic connotation to the meaning.

So do “Soul Mates” exist in the Bible? No, you’re welcome.

Now that we have the biblical piece set aside let’s go into the reasons as to why you should probably stop searching for your “happy ever after” to marry.

1. Searching for your soul mate can possibly inhibit you from truly understanding to love yourself first: Though we may try to be the best versions of ourselves, if we are focused on something else we cannot possibly be giving ourselves 100%. Try to remember a time where you have lost your phone, you’ve done the very best while being thorough and retracing your steps to find where it was last seen. You’re giving it your all to find that iPhone you cherish so much, then you give up and figure that you’ll never find it. What happens to your emotions? You get really upset, you may start to wallow and temporarily you may even be disappointed in yourself because you tried your best to find your beloved. Now let’s apply this to your search for your soul mate. You go on a couple dates, reassuring yourself that he or she is the “one”. Then when they reveal to you that they still live at home with their parents and aren’t really sure of what they want to do with their career. You start to fall perhaps into a minor sad state where you’re hopes were so high to match you’re already established career. This is the very reason why when you’re on your search for your soul mate it can really be draining and deplete the energy needed to be the best you!

2. You may have a person that matches you perfectly, but they may be permanently friend zoned

You ask a person to describe their soul mate their responses typically go something like this, “He connects with me on all levels, he’s my perfect match.” Or “She is like the missing half of me, it’s like she looks into my soul.” Well my friends what you have described may be a disaster because those qualities don’t indicate any source of individuation. If you describe your soul mate as your “twin” or other half you could also be describing a friend. Most of our friendships exists because they immediately connect with us and sometimes act as our twins. So before you deny that this perfectly matched friend is not your soul mate. Please be aware that your perfect match doesn’t always have to be your next Husband or Wife! Sometimes the people who we feel the most connected to is there just to serve a specific purpose, not to give you your next 24 karat ring! #FACTS

3. Life is not meant to be fairly tale where as soon as a problem arises it’s then fixed and the end stays happy forever.

If you truly believe finding a soul mate will make your life the next fairytale, please pinch yourself…twice. When was the last time you had a fight with your best friend? Did you not end up in an argument probably a few months down the line? If you truly believe finding the perfect guy will solve the repetitive pattern you’ve had with relationship qualms, you’re wrong. Fairy tales are meant to be just that, Fairy-Enchanted Tale-Myth.

Arguments will come, and so will solutions! There is no Prince Charming or Princess Tiana in the world that will substitute the lessons learned from trials.

4. With 7.5 billion people in the world how will you connect with them all on your tedious “search”

Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat does in fact help us connect with different people from all walks of the earth but there is no way we can possibly connect with them all! Some may say, “well God will most likely put my soul mate in my vicinity.” Well then I may say something like, “So you’re gonna go out with every female in Brooklyn.” Most likely the answer is no. There are way too many people out there who are similar to us, that may even be our counterpart doppelganger. This does not change the fact that the entire nation is populated with over 7 billion potential “soul mates” that you would have to sift through to “find” yours. So stop looking, because if someone is meant for you, trust me, you won’t have to search.

5. You may pass on great opportunities with connections if you’re too fixated on your soul mate.

It’s simple. If you’re too focused on not dating that girl because she doesn’t have the same ethnic background as you, or that guy because he’s a janitor and not a lawyer, then you are limiting yourself! These people you may pass by, could be your next ticket to a billion dollar idea, but it won’t be your billion dollar idea because you refused to date or even network with them. Don’t ever be too fixated on finding your “soul mate.” They don’t really exist.

So do you still believe soul mate still exist? Let’s chat. Leave me a comment below.

5 Reasons You Should Stop Searching for Your Soul Mate: Nearly Perfect Ending

Sunday, October 1, 2017



And they lived happily ever after…

Or maybe they didn’t. As soon as our hormones kick in, we tend to gravitate to the notion that we have to find our “soul mate”. Or even the idea that there is someone out there who matches our personality and characteristics perfectly, which make them our perfect match.

However, how many of us who are in exclusive relationship can really say we’ve met our soulmate? And for the percentage of us who think we have met our “soul mates”, how many of us can say that they are 100% perfect in every aspect of their being?

Coming from a biblical standpoint, there is nowhere in the Bible that states that God has made us a soul mate that we must be with. Before you stick a pitchfork in my mouth, and start shouting Adam and Eve, let’s go back and dissect that story briefly.
God created Eve because He stated that, man should not live alone. NOT that man has to have a perfect match! However there are multiple places in the Bible that states that God’s love is sufficient for us.

Song of Solomon 3:4 - “I have found the one whom my soul loves.” <- - - - - (not soul mate!)

Granted, there are many scriptures that do highlight the concept of our souls loving another but it doesn’t always have a romantic connotation to the meaning.

So do “Soul Mates” exist in the Bible? No, you’re welcome.

Now that we have the biblical piece set aside let’s go into the reasons as to why you should probably stop searching for your “happy ever after” to marry.

1. Searching for your soul mate can possibly inhibit you from truly understanding to love yourself first: Though we may try to be the best versions of ourselves, if we are focused on something else we cannot possibly be giving ourselves 100%. Try to remember a time where you have lost your phone, you’ve done the very best while being thorough and retracing your steps to find where it was last seen. You’re giving it your all to find that iPhone you cherish so much, then you give up and figure that you’ll never find it. What happens to your emotions? You get really upset, you may start to wallow and temporarily you may even be disappointed in yourself because you tried your best to find your beloved. Now let’s apply this to your search for your soul mate. You go on a couple dates, reassuring yourself that he or she is the “one”. Then when they reveal to you that they still live at home with their parents and aren’t really sure of what they want to do with their career. You start to fall perhaps into a minor sad state where you’re hopes were so high to match you’re already established career. This is the very reason why when you’re on your search for your soul mate it can really be draining and deplete the energy needed to be the best you!

2. You may have a person that matches you perfectly, but they may be permanently friend zoned

You ask a person to describe their soul mate their responses typically go something like this, “He connects with me on all levels, he’s my perfect match.” Or “She is like the missing half of me, it’s like she looks into my soul.” Well my friends what you have described may be a disaster because those qualities don’t indicate any source of individuation. If you describe your soul mate as your “twin” or other half you could also be describing a friend. Most of our friendships exists because they immediately connect with us and sometimes act as our twins. So before you deny that this perfectly matched friend is not your soul mate. Please be aware that your perfect match doesn’t always have to be your next Husband or Wife! Sometimes the people who we feel the most connected to is there just to serve a specific purpose, not to give you your next 24 karat ring! #FACTS

3. Life is not meant to be fairly tale where as soon as a problem arises it’s then fixed and the end stays happy forever.

If you truly believe finding a soul mate will make your life the next fairytale, please pinch yourself…twice. When was the last time you had a fight with your best friend? Did you not end up in an argument probably a few months down the line? If you truly believe finding the perfect guy will solve the repetitive pattern you’ve had with relationship qualms, you’re wrong. Fairy tales are meant to be just that, Fairy-Enchanted Tale-Myth.

Arguments will come, and so will solutions! There is no Prince Charming or Princess Tiana in the world that will substitute the lessons learned from trials.

4. With 7.5 billion people in the world how will you connect with them all on your tedious “search”

Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat does in fact help us connect with different people from all walks of the earth but there is no way we can possibly connect with them all! Some may say, “well God will most likely put my soul mate in my vicinity.” Well then I may say something like, “So you’re gonna go out with every female in Brooklyn.” Most likely the answer is no. There are way too many people out there who are similar to us, that may even be our counterpart doppelganger. This does not change the fact that the entire nation is populated with over 7 billion potential “soul mates” that you would have to sift through to “find” yours. So stop looking, because if someone is meant for you, trust me, you won’t have to search.

5. You may pass on great opportunities with connections if you’re too fixated on your soul mate.

It’s simple. If you’re too focused on not dating that girl because she doesn’t have the same ethnic background as you, or that guy because he’s a janitor and not a lawyer, then you are limiting yourself! These people you may pass by, could be your next ticket to a billion dollar idea, but it won’t be your billion dollar idea because you refused to date or even network with them. Don’t ever be too fixated on finding your “soul mate.” They don’t really exist.

So do you still believe soul mate still exist? Let’s chat. Leave me a comment below.


Who says you can’t teach an old track new tricks?

About a year ago I purchased hair from my store that I wore as a weave a couple times. I will be the first to say that I did not take care of the hair like I should have because I am just a lazy person. Suffice to say, my hoarding ways did not let me part from the tracks nor the frontal. So what does anyone do when they need a new hairstyle fast with no money? They make a wig. Yes issa wig!

Several people have asked me in the past to show how I make my wigs, so what better way to show the world than to make a video?

Think's you’ll need:

Any patterned bundles of tracked hair. 3 Bundles of Malaysian hair found here
Lace frontal
Curved Needle
Thread
Band
Wig cap
White eyeliner/chalk



Do you have any bundles of hair laying around that you're ready to transform to a wig?

How to make a Lace Frontal from start to finish: Nearly Perfect Hair

Saturday, September 23, 2017



Who says you can’t teach an old track new tricks?

About a year ago I purchased hair from my store that I wore as a weave a couple times. I will be the first to say that I did not take care of the hair like I should have because I am just a lazy person. Suffice to say, my hoarding ways did not let me part from the tracks nor the frontal. So what does anyone do when they need a new hairstyle fast with no money? They make a wig. Yes issa wig!

Several people have asked me in the past to show how I make my wigs, so what better way to show the world than to make a video?

Think's you’ll need:

Any patterned bundles of tracked hair. 3 Bundles of Malaysian hair found here
Lace frontal
Curved Needle
Thread
Band
Wig cap
White eyeliner/chalk



Do you have any bundles of hair laying around that you're ready to transform to a wig?


Imagine being in a line up with your fellow curly-girl friends who are auditioning for a Tresemme commercial. They mysterious voice tells you turn left, and then right, in order to have an accurate profile of your hair. That same voice then requests that you step forward and list all the things you do to your hair, in order to weed out the best answers for the commercial. He asks you, “Do you put conditioner on before your oil or after?” What do you say? Do you give the same response your loc’ed friend gives? How do you know what’s the right answer?

That’s just it! There isn’t a “right answer” when it comes to hair, however there are some DO’s and Don’t’s that you may want to follow in order to optimize the health of your hair.

Do…

Make sure you deep condition at least twice a month. Each day out hair loses vast amounts o moisture because of the reaction it has with the air. Deep conditioning at least once a week, or once every other week at minimum helps to restore our hair’ elasticity and strength.

Don’t…

Overly saturate your hair in conditioner everyday. Depending on the make up of your hair, over saturation can break the protein bonds that your hair holds and can lead to broken hair structures. Protein in our hair produces keratin which aids in hair growth and strength. Overdoing it in the conditioning department is a no go!

Do…

Be sure to clarify your hair at least once a week. I may get some backlash for this, but before you send in the troops, let’s take in the facts. If your hair isn’t in a protective style, chances are you are applying products like moisturizers or gels to style your hair. Overtime those products promote product buildup. For my avid co-washers, this may not seem like a problem, but trust me, down the road your hair will lose its shine and will become limp. Clarifying your hair gives your hair a fresh stat. That doesn’t mean you have to use harsh chemicals, but try switching over to a clarifying conditioner, or a sulfate-free shampoo to ensure you are rinsing away those products from your strands.


Don’t…

Overly use products that contain sulfates. Though it may be hard to find products that don’t have sulfates when you want a good shampoo, it is possible! Look for products that contain sodium cocoyl isethionate or cocamidopropyl betaine, which are less harsh on your strands.

Do...

Know your hair’s porosity. Knowing your hair’s porosity is one of the major players in the world of hair. There are sites like http://www.porosity411.com/, where you can learn more about porosity and take tests to figure out where you fall. Being aware of your hair’s porosity allows you to create a regimen that works for you. Certain products that we use doesn’t always react the same in low porosity hair as it would in high porosity hair. Having this knowledge may even permit you to reduce some of your regimen steps!

Don’t...

Assume your hair regimen will be the same as a fellow person’s. Yea, you and ‘becky with the good hair’ may have the same porosity levels, but that doesn’t guarantee that her regimen will mirror yours. You may have a different reaction to her Deva Curl Low Poo because you may have a protein sensitivity or even a sensitivity to other ingredients.


So now that you’ve just gained some knowledge, picture yourself back in that line up and it’s your turn to speak. You’re not nervous anymore because you know that your healthy hair regimen is perfect just for you!

Do's and Dont's for Healthy Natural Hair: Nearly Perfect Strands

Wednesday, September 20, 2017



Imagine being in a line up with your fellow curly-girl friends who are auditioning for a Tresemme commercial. They mysterious voice tells you turn left, and then right, in order to have an accurate profile of your hair. That same voice then requests that you step forward and list all the things you do to your hair, in order to weed out the best answers for the commercial. He asks you, “Do you put conditioner on before your oil or after?” What do you say? Do you give the same response your loc’ed friend gives? How do you know what’s the right answer?

That’s just it! There isn’t a “right answer” when it comes to hair, however there are some DO’s and Don’t’s that you may want to follow in order to optimize the health of your hair.

Do…

Make sure you deep condition at least twice a month. Each day out hair loses vast amounts o moisture because of the reaction it has with the air. Deep conditioning at least once a week, or once every other week at minimum helps to restore our hair’ elasticity and strength.

Don’t…

Overly saturate your hair in conditioner everyday. Depending on the make up of your hair, over saturation can break the protein bonds that your hair holds and can lead to broken hair structures. Protein in our hair produces keratin which aids in hair growth and strength. Overdoing it in the conditioning department is a no go!

Do…

Be sure to clarify your hair at least once a week. I may get some backlash for this, but before you send in the troops, let’s take in the facts. If your hair isn’t in a protective style, chances are you are applying products like moisturizers or gels to style your hair. Overtime those products promote product buildup. For my avid co-washers, this may not seem like a problem, but trust me, down the road your hair will lose its shine and will become limp. Clarifying your hair gives your hair a fresh stat. That doesn’t mean you have to use harsh chemicals, but try switching over to a clarifying conditioner, or a sulfate-free shampoo to ensure you are rinsing away those products from your strands.


Don’t…

Overly use products that contain sulfates. Though it may be hard to find products that don’t have sulfates when you want a good shampoo, it is possible! Look for products that contain sodium cocoyl isethionate or cocamidopropyl betaine, which are less harsh on your strands.

Do...

Know your hair’s porosity. Knowing your hair’s porosity is one of the major players in the world of hair. There are sites like http://www.porosity411.com/, where you can learn more about porosity and take tests to figure out where you fall. Being aware of your hair’s porosity allows you to create a regimen that works for you. Certain products that we use doesn’t always react the same in low porosity hair as it would in high porosity hair. Having this knowledge may even permit you to reduce some of your regimen steps!

Don’t...

Assume your hair regimen will be the same as a fellow person’s. Yea, you and ‘becky with the good hair’ may have the same porosity levels, but that doesn’t guarantee that her regimen will mirror yours. You may have a different reaction to her Deva Curl Low Poo because you may have a protein sensitivity or even a sensitivity to other ingredients.


So now that you’ve just gained some knowledge, picture yourself back in that line up and it’s your turn to speak. You’re not nervous anymore because you know that your healthy hair regimen is perfect just for you!

If my review last week on Ms. Ficklin's book on Her 20 Somethings wasn't enough, please check out my mini skit below!


Her 20 Somethings Short Skit

Thursday, September 14, 2017


If my review last week on Ms. Ficklin's book on Her 20 Somethings wasn't enough, please check out my mini skit below!



I’m usually not on anyone’s bandwagon because my coins are too precious to me, but hunny….this bandwagon was one worth trying to hop. If you haven’t seen the news already via Facebook, Instagram or Youtube… then I’ll tell you now. Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty dropped a makeup line on Friday not just on her website but in the Sephora stores.

I will say that dropping the line in Sephora was the smartest move Miss Ri Ri could have possibly done because her sales will surely surpass the 10 million dollar deal she made to Launch the Brand. Though this is great news for Sephora to increase traffic, it’s AWFUL news for my pockets.

Here’s the timeline:
6:40pm – On the phone with my friend talking about my plans for the night

6:45pm- I open the email from Sephora stating that the Fenty Line live at Sephora

6:47pm- I tell my friend the infamous line “I’ll call you back.”

7:10pm- In my car

7:30pm- In the Sephora Stores and the Fenty Display


While I was in Sephora, I couldn’t help but gasp at the Fenty Display for its attractive feel. Surprisingly, the store wasn’t packed and I was able to receive assistance fairly quickly.

My initial plan was to stop in the store and get a sample of some of the products in her line but of course the plan did not work out that way. While I was mesmerized at the display I realized that my girl Robyn has 40 shades of foundation for all undertones. Yes, 40 shades! I am shooketh.

Not only that, but Rihanna also took it upon herself to drop a FULL BLOWN line of highlighters, blotting papers, concealers/match stix and the list goes on.

This being the absolute first personal beauty line she has ever done, it really amazes me with it’s thoughtfully planned product lineups.

As I stated previously my intentions were to save all my pennies in the store but I walked out with the foundation in full size. I was tempting to purchase the highly acclaimed highlighters but I did have self-control in that area.

Nonetheless, I am super pleased with the foundation! As you all know I am a ridiculously oily girl. And though the foundation doesn’t claim to be mattifying all day, it did have great lasting power and kept me matte longer than some of the other foundations I have tried. The ultimate best part is that it’s only $34.

Before you give the side eye, let me recap on some of the foundations and makeup lines that have recently released.

Kim Kardashian West Palettes priced at $52

DiorSkin Forever Foundation Priced at $50


And now Rihanna gives....

Fenty Beauty Foundation priced at $34

Don’t you dare complain!

To see how the pro long wear filter Fenty Beauty foundation in the color 400 held up watch my video below!


What will you be getting from the Fenty Beauty Line?

Rihanna Fenty Foundation for Oily Skin!: Nearly Perfect Skin

Monday, September 11, 2017


I’m usually not on anyone’s bandwagon because my coins are too precious to me, but hunny….this bandwagon was one worth trying to hop. If you haven’t seen the news already via Facebook, Instagram or Youtube… then I’ll tell you now. Robyn “Rihanna” Fenty dropped a makeup line on Friday not just on her website but in the Sephora stores.

I will say that dropping the line in Sephora was the smartest move Miss Ri Ri could have possibly done because her sales will surely surpass the 10 million dollar deal she made to Launch the Brand. Though this is great news for Sephora to increase traffic, it’s AWFUL news for my pockets.

Here’s the timeline:
6:40pm – On the phone with my friend talking about my plans for the night

6:45pm- I open the email from Sephora stating that the Fenty Line live at Sephora

6:47pm- I tell my friend the infamous line “I’ll call you back.”

7:10pm- In my car

7:30pm- In the Sephora Stores and the Fenty Display


While I was in Sephora, I couldn’t help but gasp at the Fenty Display for its attractive feel. Surprisingly, the store wasn’t packed and I was able to receive assistance fairly quickly.

My initial plan was to stop in the store and get a sample of some of the products in her line but of course the plan did not work out that way. While I was mesmerized at the display I realized that my girl Robyn has 40 shades of foundation for all undertones. Yes, 40 shades! I am shooketh.

Not only that, but Rihanna also took it upon herself to drop a FULL BLOWN line of highlighters, blotting papers, concealers/match stix and the list goes on.

This being the absolute first personal beauty line she has ever done, it really amazes me with it’s thoughtfully planned product lineups.

As I stated previously my intentions were to save all my pennies in the store but I walked out with the foundation in full size. I was tempting to purchase the highly acclaimed highlighters but I did have self-control in that area.

Nonetheless, I am super pleased with the foundation! As you all know I am a ridiculously oily girl. And though the foundation doesn’t claim to be mattifying all day, it did have great lasting power and kept me matte longer than some of the other foundations I have tried. The ultimate best part is that it’s only $34.

Before you give the side eye, let me recap on some of the foundations and makeup lines that have recently released.

Kim Kardashian West Palettes priced at $52

DiorSkin Forever Foundation Priced at $50


And now Rihanna gives....

Fenty Beauty Foundation priced at $34

Don’t you dare complain!

To see how the pro long wear filter Fenty Beauty foundation in the color 400 held up watch my video below!


What will you be getting from the Fenty Beauty Line?

Truth be told, when that clock struck 12am on June 1st 2012 I thought I was entering into the wonder years. I really believed that life couldn’t get ANY better being 21 and that it would be the best decade of my life. Little did I know that I was entering into some strange type of twilight zone, where bills had to get paid on time and responsibilities were really a ‘thing’.

Your 20’s are supposed to be your prime. It’s the decade where most people find love and heck, even make it! It’s supposed to be filled with laughter and prosperity, but how is it that most of us young women, or even young men, end up in the total opposite spectrum? Because adulting is beyond hard! No course in high school or undergraduate schooling could possibly prepare you for what was to come.

It’s a funny thing to actually expect that someone is going to hand us the Beyoncé life on a gold platter but we all dream it.
"What do you do when you feel like you’re living a decade from hell while in your 20’s?"
Gather your resources and act fast. If there was anything I learned from my earlier 20 years is to take advantage of any and all opportunities. Most of my early 20’s were spent in the What if realm.

What if I can’t do my job right?

What if I move and can’t find a new network?


What I never considered were my absolutes like…


I absolutely have the ability to create a new network as I did it before

I absolutely can start my own career if I have proper guidance and drive


Most times we as millennials miss golden opportunities because we are fearful. I believe that we are fearful of actually succeeding because we won’t know what to do with ourselves.


Photo credit: Create HER stock

The Golden Rule for Your 20’s?

Currently, I am in my mid 20’s and I am still struggling, but thanks to Zakiyrah Ficklin’s Her 20 Somethings guide, I have managed to
1. Gather great resources 
2. Act fast on the resources

As aforementioned most of our defeats are due to the shortcomings of our ability to take action. This book has become an ultimate catalyst to a fresh start in my journey to surviving my 20’s.

Out of the 20 tips Zakirah provides in her book the Golden Rule that I took away from the book was:

It’s okay to ask for help


As a millennial we really do have that “I can do it all by myself attitude” because we want to prove to the naysayers that we are fully equipped with the skills and knowledge we need to exceed. Though it may be true for some, most of us honestly don’t have everything we need. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for a loan or even solid advice to get your feet wet as you emerge into your success.


What I love most about Ficklin’s resource is its interactive pages. Usually when I read a book it’s just simply reading but this resources has thought provoking questions that allow introspection and deep rooted reflection to help me truly understand where I fit into this equation.



I would love to share even more wealth from this book but truth is, it would be such an ineffective experience and disservice to yourselves if you don’t check it out for yourself. Ficklin allowed me to take a journey alongside Monica, the main character, and learn from her mistakes and successes.

If you are a struggling millennial woman like myself or even just want invaluable advice I urge you to check out Her 20 Somethings. There is a large amount of suggestions that serves as a navigation tool that I am itching to share but just won’t make much sense without having read the book. It’s a great resource to keep by your side when you are in need of motivation and a reason to take action!

Update: Watch the Promo ad I created for 'Her 20 Somethings' book in my recent post here

What’s something you’ve struggled with while in your 20’s? Leave me a comment below.

The Most Valuable Secret to Adulting: Surviving Your 20's

Friday, September 8, 2017


Truth be told, when that clock struck 12am on June 1st 2012 I thought I was entering into the wonder years. I really believed that life couldn’t get ANY better being 21 and that it would be the best decade of my life. Little did I know that I was entering into some strange type of twilight zone, where bills had to get paid on time and responsibilities were really a ‘thing’.

Your 20’s are supposed to be your prime. It’s the decade where most people find love and heck, even make it! It’s supposed to be filled with laughter and prosperity, but how is it that most of us young women, or even young men, end up in the total opposite spectrum? Because adulting is beyond hard! No course in high school or undergraduate schooling could possibly prepare you for what was to come.

It’s a funny thing to actually expect that someone is going to hand us the Beyoncé life on a gold platter but we all dream it.
"What do you do when you feel like you’re living a decade from hell while in your 20’s?"
Gather your resources and act fast. If there was anything I learned from my earlier 20 years is to take advantage of any and all opportunities. Most of my early 20’s were spent in the What if realm.

What if I can’t do my job right?

What if I move and can’t find a new network?


What I never considered were my absolutes like…


I absolutely have the ability to create a new network as I did it before

I absolutely can start my own career if I have proper guidance and drive


Most times we as millennials miss golden opportunities because we are fearful. I believe that we are fearful of actually succeeding because we won’t know what to do with ourselves.


Photo credit: Create HER stock

The Golden Rule for Your 20’s?

Currently, I am in my mid 20’s and I am still struggling, but thanks to Zakiyrah Ficklin’s Her 20 Somethings guide, I have managed to
1. Gather great resources 
2. Act fast on the resources

As aforementioned most of our defeats are due to the shortcomings of our ability to take action. This book has become an ultimate catalyst to a fresh start in my journey to surviving my 20’s.

Out of the 20 tips Zakirah provides in her book the Golden Rule that I took away from the book was:

It’s okay to ask for help


As a millennial we really do have that “I can do it all by myself attitude” because we want to prove to the naysayers that we are fully equipped with the skills and knowledge we need to exceed. Though it may be true for some, most of us honestly don’t have everything we need. There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for a loan or even solid advice to get your feet wet as you emerge into your success.


What I love most about Ficklin’s resource is its interactive pages. Usually when I read a book it’s just simply reading but this resources has thought provoking questions that allow introspection and deep rooted reflection to help me truly understand where I fit into this equation.



I would love to share even more wealth from this book but truth is, it would be such an ineffective experience and disservice to yourselves if you don’t check it out for yourself. Ficklin allowed me to take a journey alongside Monica, the main character, and learn from her mistakes and successes.

If you are a struggling millennial woman like myself or even just want invaluable advice I urge you to check out Her 20 Somethings. There is a large amount of suggestions that serves as a navigation tool that I am itching to share but just won’t make much sense without having read the book. It’s a great resource to keep by your side when you are in need of motivation and a reason to take action!

Update: Watch the Promo ad I created for 'Her 20 Somethings' book in my recent post here

What’s something you’ve struggled with while in your 20’s? Leave me a comment below.

If Instagram stalking had an award, I am most certain I would place at LEAST 3rd and nothing less. This week on my daily stalk I stumbled upon Nikisha. Not only is her hair fly, but her style is beyond amazing. I'll let you learn more about this beautiful queen for yourself below!


Meet Nikisha....

My name is Nikisha Oliver known as kinkykurls_ on Instagram and YouTube. I'm a military wife and a mother of 2 daughters. I'm from a small town in South Carolina. I'm really passionate about natural hair and fashion. Actually I'm kind of obsessed I love everything about natural hair and fashion. I love how achieving a bomb twist out and getting all dressed up in a cute outfit makes a woman feel so confident.


When and why did you decide to get rid of the creamy crack if you did? 
I decided to return back to natural in 2014 reason being I was simply tired of sitting in hair salons for over 5 hours for a style that only last for 2 weeks. Before returning back to natural I wore my hair in braids and slick back pony tails so it was really no reason to relax my hair. I transitioned for 7 months and BIG CHOP February 7 2015 best decision I ever made.


It is true that we are not our hair, or anyone else's, but do you have any natural hair crushes? It's very true that we are not our hair. I can definitely say that my hair is my crown and that I'm proud to be able to rock my natural hair with confidence. Of course I have natural hair crushes they are none other than the beautiful Erika Badu and Free from 106 and park.

What are your inspirations in life and inspiration for your hair? 
My goal is to inspire my daughters and women to embrace their natural hair and personal style with confidence. My hair goals are to reach mid back Healthy hair.


When you are going through your daily regimen what products do you reach for first and why? 


My daily hair regimen is to spritz my hair with water and a light leave-in conditioner. I reach for anything that leaves my hair moisturized throughout the day.

What is your go to style in the winter and the summer?

My go to style is definitely a high puff in the summer and braids in the colder months.


What is the most important thing you have learned on your natural hair journey?

The most important thing I've learned is to keep my hair moisturized and to never get my hair bleach again "lol"

What does it feel like owning your own business/blog with many other people owning larger business companies/blogs? Is it intimidating?

It's an amazing feeling running my own blog so that I can talk about and share pictures of the things that I'm passionate about. It's many GIRL BOSSES out here with amazing blogs with huge a following. It doesn't intimidate me it motivates to go hard because I know one day I will get there.


What has been one of your biggest obstacles so far in your career and how did you face it?

My biggest obstacle since starting my blogging career has been to keep pushing myself no matter if I get 2 views on YouTube or a couple likes on Instagram.

What keeps you motivated (pertaining to balancing your life and your company/blog)?

I stay motivated by having talks with myself and listening to motivational videos on YouTube.

How would you describe your signature style and has it helped influence your designs?

I would say my style is very girlie. I would say yeah it influences my design and style of choice.


What was your support system like after you made your decision to go natural?

My support system was youtube, hubby and me telling myself everyday 'girl this natural hair looks good on you.' Lol


Where do you see your blog in the next five years?


I see my movement being a big name in the natural hair community in the near future.


Where can we find you on the net?


You can find your girl over on Instagram @kinkykurls_ and Youtube kinkykurls_

Any advice for your fellow natural hair folks?

My advice for any girl /women is that you can do anything you put your mind to as long as you believe in yourself and God.

Tales From The Kinks: Nikisha Edition

Friday, September 1, 2017

If Instagram stalking had an award, I am most certain I would place at LEAST 3rd and nothing less. This week on my daily stalk I stumbled upon Nikisha. Not only is her hair fly, but her style is beyond amazing. I'll let you learn more about this beautiful queen for yourself below!


Meet Nikisha....

My name is Nikisha Oliver known as kinkykurls_ on Instagram and YouTube. I'm a military wife and a mother of 2 daughters. I'm from a small town in South Carolina. I'm really passionate about natural hair and fashion. Actually I'm kind of obsessed I love everything about natural hair and fashion. I love how achieving a bomb twist out and getting all dressed up in a cute outfit makes a woman feel so confident.


When and why did you decide to get rid of the creamy crack if you did? 
I decided to return back to natural in 2014 reason being I was simply tired of sitting in hair salons for over 5 hours for a style that only last for 2 weeks. Before returning back to natural I wore my hair in braids and slick back pony tails so it was really no reason to relax my hair. I transitioned for 7 months and BIG CHOP February 7 2015 best decision I ever made.


It is true that we are not our hair, or anyone else's, but do you have any natural hair crushes? It's very true that we are not our hair. I can definitely say that my hair is my crown and that I'm proud to be able to rock my natural hair with confidence. Of course I have natural hair crushes they are none other than the beautiful Erika Badu and Free from 106 and park.

What are your inspirations in life and inspiration for your hair? 
My goal is to inspire my daughters and women to embrace their natural hair and personal style with confidence. My hair goals are to reach mid back Healthy hair.


When you are going through your daily regimen what products do you reach for first and why? 


My daily hair regimen is to spritz my hair with water and a light leave-in conditioner. I reach for anything that leaves my hair moisturized throughout the day.

What is your go to style in the winter and the summer?

My go to style is definitely a high puff in the summer and braids in the colder months.


What is the most important thing you have learned on your natural hair journey?

The most important thing I've learned is to keep my hair moisturized and to never get my hair bleach again "lol"

What does it feel like owning your own business/blog with many other people owning larger business companies/blogs? Is it intimidating?

It's an amazing feeling running my own blog so that I can talk about and share pictures of the things that I'm passionate about. It's many GIRL BOSSES out here with amazing blogs with huge a following. It doesn't intimidate me it motivates to go hard because I know one day I will get there.


What has been one of your biggest obstacles so far in your career and how did you face it?

My biggest obstacle since starting my blogging career has been to keep pushing myself no matter if I get 2 views on YouTube or a couple likes on Instagram.

What keeps you motivated (pertaining to balancing your life and your company/blog)?

I stay motivated by having talks with myself and listening to motivational videos on YouTube.

How would you describe your signature style and has it helped influence your designs?

I would say my style is very girlie. I would say yeah it influences my design and style of choice.


What was your support system like after you made your decision to go natural?

My support system was youtube, hubby and me telling myself everyday 'girl this natural hair looks good on you.' Lol


Where do you see your blog in the next five years?


I see my movement being a big name in the natural hair community in the near future.


Where can we find you on the net?


You can find your girl over on Instagram @kinkykurls_ and Youtube kinkykurls_

Any advice for your fellow natural hair folks?

My advice for any girl /women is that you can do anything you put your mind to as long as you believe in yourself and God.

I haven’t deviated much from my last skin care routine (click here for previous routine.) I still incorporate the Ole Henriksen’s Balance and oil control three-step system, because my skin seem to still enjoy the formula. However, recently my skin still has a tendency to look like a frying pan. It could be due to the humid weather, but feelings surrounding oily acne prone skin remains the same regardless of the climate. Oily skin is such a confidence killer, is the bane to my existence.

Dramatic much?.....

After taking a beginners makeup class from Sephora, I learned that my skin is truly just excessively dry which is why it overproduces so much oil. An associate in Sephora recommended that I “oil train my face.”

What does oil training mean?


It simply means that I train my face to believe that it is already moisturized so that it doesn’t feel the need to produce oil. When the associate first introduced this to me, I thought she was going to tell me to do the oil cleansing method which would have led me to stop her while she was ahead. I have nothing against the oil cleansing method except for the fact that it made my acne worse, and it just wasn’t my cup of tea.



Oil training is highly dependent on the ingredients used. One of the major players in Oil training is Hyaluronic.

What is Hyaluronic acid?




Hyaluronic acid is typically recommended for people with dry skin to help boost hydration. This product is known to hold 1,000 times its weight in water which makes it the leading ingredient in products for dry skin. It is acid is naturally found in our skin but some people lack this water retaining acid which can lead to wrinkles and overly dry skin. The Sephora associate recommended that I find a moisturizer that contains hyaluronic acid, but being the extra person that I am, I took it an extra step and decided to purchase the pure hyaluronic acid instead.



The youtube reviews I watched had me sold, and I was sure that this product would change my life.

The product I have is very serum-like and I use it on my damp skin in the morning right before putting on my Olehenriksen’s balance and oil control moisturizer. And guess what? It has reduced my oil production tremendously! It dries quickly once applied so it doesn’t really add too much time to my morning routine.



What about your night time routine?


During the same conversation at Sephora with a fellow oily skin gal, it was mentioned that during the nighttime our skin does the most replenishing. The employee explained that my morning routine needs to be different than the night time routine and recommended a thick moisturizer to use during the night.



I was pretty hesitant about her advice, because everything I knew about oily skin specifically stressed staying away from thick moisturizer, but with the severity of my oiliness I figured I had nothing to lose.

She recommended that I used a moisturizer that contained vitamins infused within the formula to help regenerate skin cells. Because I am so loyal to Ole Henriksen I picked up the Nurture Me Moisturizing Creme.

Even though my skin is oily during the day it is worse in the morning after I wake up. I was really excited to put the cream to the test the night.

After the first night of use, I woke up and my skin was so supple and bright. I was obviously super impressed! What made me even more excited was the fact that my skin wasn’t oily! It had the right balance of moisture.



For the past two weeks this skin care regimen has been really helpful. It would make sense as to why my skin overproduces in oil simply because my topical medications for my acne contain drying ingredients. My poor skin was seeking optimal hydration.

I will provide another two week update to see if my oiliness will remain at bay with this regimen.


If you would like to try the products I have used check out this list:

Olehenriksen’s Nurture Me Moisturizing Crème

Oleheniksen Find your balance oil control cleanser

Olehenriksen Balancing Force oil control toner

Olehenriksen Counter balance Oil control hydrator



What is your regimen for oily skin?

How to decrease oily Skin: Updated Skin Routine

Wednesday, August 30, 2017


I haven’t deviated much from my last skin care routine (click here for previous routine.) I still incorporate the Ole Henriksen’s Balance and oil control three-step system, because my skin seem to still enjoy the formula. However, recently my skin still has a tendency to look like a frying pan. It could be due to the humid weather, but feelings surrounding oily acne prone skin remains the same regardless of the climate. Oily skin is such a confidence killer, is the bane to my existence.

Dramatic much?.....

After taking a beginners makeup class from Sephora, I learned that my skin is truly just excessively dry which is why it overproduces so much oil. An associate in Sephora recommended that I “oil train my face.”

What does oil training mean?


It simply means that I train my face to believe that it is already moisturized so that it doesn’t feel the need to produce oil. When the associate first introduced this to me, I thought she was going to tell me to do the oil cleansing method which would have led me to stop her while she was ahead. I have nothing against the oil cleansing method except for the fact that it made my acne worse, and it just wasn’t my cup of tea.



Oil training is highly dependent on the ingredients used. One of the major players in Oil training is Hyaluronic.

What is Hyaluronic acid?




Hyaluronic acid is typically recommended for people with dry skin to help boost hydration. This product is known to hold 1,000 times its weight in water which makes it the leading ingredient in products for dry skin. It is acid is naturally found in our skin but some people lack this water retaining acid which can lead to wrinkles and overly dry skin. The Sephora associate recommended that I find a moisturizer that contains hyaluronic acid, but being the extra person that I am, I took it an extra step and decided to purchase the pure hyaluronic acid instead.



The youtube reviews I watched had me sold, and I was sure that this product would change my life.

The product I have is very serum-like and I use it on my damp skin in the morning right before putting on my Olehenriksen’s balance and oil control moisturizer. And guess what? It has reduced my oil production tremendously! It dries quickly once applied so it doesn’t really add too much time to my morning routine.



What about your night time routine?


During the same conversation at Sephora with a fellow oily skin gal, it was mentioned that during the nighttime our skin does the most replenishing. The employee explained that my morning routine needs to be different than the night time routine and recommended a thick moisturizer to use during the night.



I was pretty hesitant about her advice, because everything I knew about oily skin specifically stressed staying away from thick moisturizer, but with the severity of my oiliness I figured I had nothing to lose.

She recommended that I used a moisturizer that contained vitamins infused within the formula to help regenerate skin cells. Because I am so loyal to Ole Henriksen I picked up the Nurture Me Moisturizing Creme.

Even though my skin is oily during the day it is worse in the morning after I wake up. I was really excited to put the cream to the test the night.

After the first night of use, I woke up and my skin was so supple and bright. I was obviously super impressed! What made me even more excited was the fact that my skin wasn’t oily! It had the right balance of moisture.



For the past two weeks this skin care regimen has been really helpful. It would make sense as to why my skin overproduces in oil simply because my topical medications for my acne contain drying ingredients. My poor skin was seeking optimal hydration.

I will provide another two week update to see if my oiliness will remain at bay with this regimen.


If you would like to try the products I have used check out this list:

Olehenriksen’s Nurture Me Moisturizing Crème

Oleheniksen Find your balance oil control cleanser

Olehenriksen Balancing Force oil control toner

Olehenriksen Counter balance Oil control hydrator



What is your regimen for oily skin?
It's Friday and I am finally back to featuring my lovely curled up fearless ladies! This week's feature is a friend I have spoken highly about in my past posts. To check out my first mention of Ericka and my self care post take a peek here.

Now let's meet Ericka!...


My name is Ericka, I am from Hamden, CT not far from New Haven. I love all things that pertain to God, family, self care, fashion, spoken word, music and mental health/wellbeing. In my free time I can be found writing and reading. In my not-so-free time I can be found mothering two little brown boys, and working as a pediatric nurse.


When and why did you decide to get rid of the creamy crack if you did?

I've never had a relaxer, but my hair was heat trained the majority of my life.

What was your support system like after you made your decision to go natural?

After I big chopped I relied heavily on YouTube for guidance. I didn't really know what I was doing. So inspirations like @simplyounique were a huge help in the beginning of my journey.

It is true that we are not our hair, or anyone else's, but do you have any natural hair crushes?

Ohhhh yes I do! Right now my hair crush is MiniMarley and Mahoganycurls.

What are your inspirations in life and inspiration for your hair?

My life inspirations revolve around Christ and his walk and ministry. His views of the world and the
social issues that he faced in his times are very encouraging for where I am in my life. My hair inspirations come from a variety of YouTube channels, and celebrities.

When you are going through your daily regimen what products do you reach for first and why?

Agua! I neeeeeeeed water. If my hair is not soaking wet it's an automatic failure. After I wet my hair I use Cantu or Creme of Nature leave in conditioner, then creme of nature's twirling custard, followed by jojoba oil or black castor oil.

What is your go to style in the winter and the summer?

During the winter I love buns, twists, and tuck and pin styles. I'm the summer I love wash n gos (More like wash n waits ) and Marley twists.

What is the most important thing you have learned on your natural hair journey?

The most important thing I've learned is self-pacing. Everything grows in its own timing.

What does it feel like owning your own business/blog with many other people owning larger business companies/blogs? Is it intimidating?

It's very exciting and also very challenging. I have to be honest, I never thought anyone would read my blog. So when I see views, I'm blown away. But it has also opened my eyes to how large of and industry blogging is. It can be intimidating but it helps me work on what I have and strive for better.

What has been one of your biggest obstacles so far in your career and how did you face it?

One of the biggest obstacles I've faced is censorship. I feel like I don't allow my creative mind to flow because of fear of what people may say. I'm still working on that.

What keeps you motivated (pertaining to balancing your life and your company/blog)?

Prayer and family time.

How would you describe your signature style and has it helped influence your designs?

I would say my style of writing is transparent. I aim to be honest and keep the emotions of my writing as authentic as possible. I believe this helps both myself and my readers tremendously.

Where do you see your business/blog in the next five years?

I would love to see myself working for a health magazine, particularly their mental health column.

Where can we find you on the net?

Enduretoend.blog

Any advice for your fellow natural hair folks?

Be you, and don't apologize for it. Encourage yourself. Be your own hair goal. Be your own inspiration. In all things, love yourself. Every hurt, every accomplishment, every victory, every pain, every length check has a root. Explore your roots and anticipate growth.


I hope you all enjoyed meeting Ericka. After reading this you have no choice but to love her as much as I do! For your chance to be featured shoot an email to inquire@nearlyhair.com

Tales From the Kinks: Ericka Edition

Friday, August 25, 2017

It's Friday and I am finally back to featuring my lovely curled up fearless ladies! This week's feature is a friend I have spoken highly about in my past posts. To check out my first mention of Ericka and my self care post take a peek here.

Now let's meet Ericka!...


My name is Ericka, I am from Hamden, CT not far from New Haven. I love all things that pertain to God, family, self care, fashion, spoken word, music and mental health/wellbeing. In my free time I can be found writing and reading. In my not-so-free time I can be found mothering two little brown boys, and working as a pediatric nurse.


When and why did you decide to get rid of the creamy crack if you did?

I've never had a relaxer, but my hair was heat trained the majority of my life.

What was your support system like after you made your decision to go natural?

After I big chopped I relied heavily on YouTube for guidance. I didn't really know what I was doing. So inspirations like @simplyounique were a huge help in the beginning of my journey.

It is true that we are not our hair, or anyone else's, but do you have any natural hair crushes?

Ohhhh yes I do! Right now my hair crush is MiniMarley and Mahoganycurls.

What are your inspirations in life and inspiration for your hair?

My life inspirations revolve around Christ and his walk and ministry. His views of the world and the
social issues that he faced in his times are very encouraging for where I am in my life. My hair inspirations come from a variety of YouTube channels, and celebrities.

When you are going through your daily regimen what products do you reach for first and why?

Agua! I neeeeeeeed water. If my hair is not soaking wet it's an automatic failure. After I wet my hair I use Cantu or Creme of Nature leave in conditioner, then creme of nature's twirling custard, followed by jojoba oil or black castor oil.

What is your go to style in the winter and the summer?

During the winter I love buns, twists, and tuck and pin styles. I'm the summer I love wash n gos (More like wash n waits ) and Marley twists.

What is the most important thing you have learned on your natural hair journey?

The most important thing I've learned is self-pacing. Everything grows in its own timing.

What does it feel like owning your own business/blog with many other people owning larger business companies/blogs? Is it intimidating?

It's very exciting and also very challenging. I have to be honest, I never thought anyone would read my blog. So when I see views, I'm blown away. But it has also opened my eyes to how large of and industry blogging is. It can be intimidating but it helps me work on what I have and strive for better.

What has been one of your biggest obstacles so far in your career and how did you face it?

One of the biggest obstacles I've faced is censorship. I feel like I don't allow my creative mind to flow because of fear of what people may say. I'm still working on that.

What keeps you motivated (pertaining to balancing your life and your company/blog)?

Prayer and family time.

How would you describe your signature style and has it helped influence your designs?

I would say my style of writing is transparent. I aim to be honest and keep the emotions of my writing as authentic as possible. I believe this helps both myself and my readers tremendously.

Where do you see your business/blog in the next five years?

I would love to see myself working for a health magazine, particularly their mental health column.

Where can we find you on the net?

Enduretoend.blog

Any advice for your fellow natural hair folks?

Be you, and don't apologize for it. Encourage yourself. Be your own hair goal. Be your own inspiration. In all things, love yourself. Every hurt, every accomplishment, every victory, every pain, every length check has a root. Explore your roots and anticipate growth.


I hope you all enjoyed meeting Ericka. After reading this you have no choice but to love her as much as I do! For your chance to be featured shoot an email to inquire@nearlyhair.com

Originally posted 2011
Reposting for encouragement


Okay guys here it is. My on the couch special with curlynikki from over a year ago. I never released this but it is time for me to share this hair testimony.

IMG_0312
“When he breaks up with me, I’ll
cut my hair!”

This statement was once the story of my life. I never understood
my hair in its entire being, whether it was relaxed or natural, I always felt
the need to “hate on” others hair because mine didn’t look like the other chick's
standing next to me.

Right when I began highschool, my self esteem was nowhere to be found. I searched through each and every hall wall and locker, but nope it wasn’t there. This was probably because I believed
that my hair was the root of my self esteem issues. And even though my mother
put a texturizer in my hair 2 years prior to high school, when I hit the school
doors that first day, I knew then and there that a texturizer wasn’t cutting it.

My hair made who I was (or so I thought), and I would not be able to have a smile upon my face unless my hair was up to par. Therefore my freshman year of highschool I hit the salon and begged
for a relaxer. My bestfriend at the time was highly upset because not only did
I leave her to fend with her natural hair by herself when I first processed my
hair, but I leaped an extra two steps ahead getting a full blown relaxer. While

Motions Relaxer was seeping into the roots of every hair strand, all I could think about is how gorgeous this relaxer would make me, and how my self image would do a total turn around.  Boy was I wrong! 
My hair never took to the chemicals, and I surely believed something was wrong with my head. I refused to get a stronger relaxer, because everyone knows that the stronger the relaxer the more damaging it is. So I was forced to walk around with puffy hair all the
time. 

My hair routine consisted of going to the hair salon; receiving a relaxer (which I did once every three months or so); Going home and then flat ironing my ends. When I wasn’t in the hair salon
I simply just washed and flat ironed. Surprisingly for the 5 years that I kept
up with that routine I never experienced noticeable damage but I knew something
wasn’t too right. There were nights I would refuse to leave my house because I
was afraid to hear the comments about my puffy so called relaxed hair. It’s
unimaginable how the material looks and societal acceptances can consume a person's thoughts. I unfortunately became a victim of both. I believed that I WAS my hair.

Upon leaving high school, I entered college and found myself stumbling upon many natural divas and website such as these. As I wandered through the sites I began to wonder if I would be able to
love my hair ever again. Of course these trying times were even more rough
because my boyfriend ex-boyfriend and I lived in two separate places and I believed  that the long distance wasn’t going to work out as it should. So one day while I was speaking to my best friend she brought
up my relationship and said, “Do you think you guys will break up?” And I
responded, “When he breaks ups with me, I’ll cut my hair!!” From that moment I truly
understood that I cared entirely way too much about my appearance and fitting
in with societies “Perfect Woman” image, so much that I thought living with
short natural hair was unattractive. I knew then and there that something had
to give. I even wrote an article for the University’s paper on natural hair
which in turn forced me to start transitioning in January 2010. Little did I know that while I was transitioning I was simultaneously "transitioning" both my mind and hair. I had no idea that this was an actual natural hair term nor a process.

My hair journey with transitioning was pretty rough but luckily I had a friend on campus, who was also natural to help me get through it with a sew in. I also transitioned with twistouts and bantuknots (free flow styles) .

June 7th was the big day when I BC’ed my hair. I felt so relieved watching my relaxed ends hit the ground. I’m not going to lie I cried, I cried for a couple of days at that.
These tears to me were a sign of release but also shyness because I was not
sure how my boyfriend ex-boyfriend or family would have taken it. Oh yea did I mention I cut
it myself, with the help of a friend? If there is one thing I learned, it's to make sure to know what you
are doing with your hair at all times! When I showed my parents they yelled at
me so much because I cut it unevenly and they believed that my natural hair was
disgusting. There faces and words both read  “You are so stupid”.  Calling me "Felix" instead of Felicia. And again I relapsed,
falling heavy into a state of depression, receiving micro braids  to cover
up my “naturalness”. I was way too afraid to show my boyfriend  ex-boyfriend.

As time went by I kept watching and
reading materials to maintain my natural roots because there was no
turning back from it(for me at least). Although I was unsure of myself I knew
that a self esteem change had to occur in my life if I ever wanted to live with
a smile again. Therefore I took out my hair on August 5th and went to a
salon and had them trim it evenly. When I walked out the salon I took a deep
breath and said “I Love me!”

I receive comments on my hair every day, most of them go something like this “OMG you cut your hair? I wanna go natural but I don’t have the guts to do it!” When I get comments like those I smirk and think, “if only they knew...” To this day my boyfriend and I are still together and he adores my natural hair. I believe it is growing on him and he would like for me to keep it in a "fro" so he says.  Today I am with a lovely guy, my highschool crush and he thinks my hair is amazing....If I remember correctly he said "I wish my hair would curl like that" lol.

For all my Natural Chicas or Transitioning sweethearts out there my advice to you is stay educated hydrated and happy. This journey is nowhere near easy! You have to experiment with your hair because just like snowflakes, no two heads are alike. What might work
for me, might not work for you. But if you are transitioning don’t give up,
because trust me, finding yourself behind the chemical stunned ends is worth
it. Love yourself above all and don't let society define your life!

My Natural Hair Journey Video can be found here with my pics: 

When he breaks up with me…[revealed]

Monday, August 21, 2017

Originally posted 2011
Reposting for encouragement


Okay guys here it is. My on the couch special with curlynikki from over a year ago. I never released this but it is time for me to share this hair testimony.

IMG_0312
“When he breaks up with me, I’ll
cut my hair!”

This statement was once the story of my life. I never understood
my hair in its entire being, whether it was relaxed or natural, I always felt
the need to “hate on” others hair because mine didn’t look like the other chick's
standing next to me.

Right when I began highschool, my self esteem was nowhere to be found. I searched through each and every hall wall and locker, but nope it wasn’t there. This was probably because I believed
that my hair was the root of my self esteem issues. And even though my mother
put a texturizer in my hair 2 years prior to high school, when I hit the school
doors that first day, I knew then and there that a texturizer wasn’t cutting it.

My hair made who I was (or so I thought), and I would not be able to have a smile upon my face unless my hair was up to par. Therefore my freshman year of highschool I hit the salon and begged
for a relaxer. My bestfriend at the time was highly upset because not only did
I leave her to fend with her natural hair by herself when I first processed my
hair, but I leaped an extra two steps ahead getting a full blown relaxer. While

Motions Relaxer was seeping into the roots of every hair strand, all I could think about is how gorgeous this relaxer would make me, and how my self image would do a total turn around.  Boy was I wrong! 
My hair never took to the chemicals, and I surely believed something was wrong with my head. I refused to get a stronger relaxer, because everyone knows that the stronger the relaxer the more damaging it is. So I was forced to walk around with puffy hair all the
time. 

My hair routine consisted of going to the hair salon; receiving a relaxer (which I did once every three months or so); Going home and then flat ironing my ends. When I wasn’t in the hair salon
I simply just washed and flat ironed. Surprisingly for the 5 years that I kept
up with that routine I never experienced noticeable damage but I knew something
wasn’t too right. There were nights I would refuse to leave my house because I
was afraid to hear the comments about my puffy so called relaxed hair. It’s
unimaginable how the material looks and societal acceptances can consume a person's thoughts. I unfortunately became a victim of both. I believed that I WAS my hair.

Upon leaving high school, I entered college and found myself stumbling upon many natural divas and website such as these. As I wandered through the sites I began to wonder if I would be able to
love my hair ever again. Of course these trying times were even more rough
because my boyfriend ex-boyfriend and I lived in two separate places and I believed  that the long distance wasn’t going to work out as it should. So one day while I was speaking to my best friend she brought
up my relationship and said, “Do you think you guys will break up?” And I
responded, “When he breaks ups with me, I’ll cut my hair!!” From that moment I truly
understood that I cared entirely way too much about my appearance and fitting
in with societies “Perfect Woman” image, so much that I thought living with
short natural hair was unattractive. I knew then and there that something had
to give. I even wrote an article for the University’s paper on natural hair
which in turn forced me to start transitioning in January 2010. Little did I know that while I was transitioning I was simultaneously "transitioning" both my mind and hair. I had no idea that this was an actual natural hair term nor a process.

My hair journey with transitioning was pretty rough but luckily I had a friend on campus, who was also natural to help me get through it with a sew in. I also transitioned with twistouts and bantuknots (free flow styles) .

June 7th was the big day when I BC’ed my hair. I felt so relieved watching my relaxed ends hit the ground. I’m not going to lie I cried, I cried for a couple of days at that.
These tears to me were a sign of release but also shyness because I was not
sure how my boyfriend ex-boyfriend or family would have taken it. Oh yea did I mention I cut
it myself, with the help of a friend? If there is one thing I learned, it's to make sure to know what you
are doing with your hair at all times! When I showed my parents they yelled at
me so much because I cut it unevenly and they believed that my natural hair was
disgusting. There faces and words both read  “You are so stupid”.  Calling me "Felix" instead of Felicia. And again I relapsed,
falling heavy into a state of depression, receiving micro braids  to cover
up my “naturalness”. I was way too afraid to show my boyfriend  ex-boyfriend.

As time went by I kept watching and
reading materials to maintain my natural roots because there was no
turning back from it(for me at least). Although I was unsure of myself I knew
that a self esteem change had to occur in my life if I ever wanted to live with
a smile again. Therefore I took out my hair on August 5th and went to a
salon and had them trim it evenly. When I walked out the salon I took a deep
breath and said “I Love me!”

I receive comments on my hair every day, most of them go something like this “OMG you cut your hair? I wanna go natural but I don’t have the guts to do it!” When I get comments like those I smirk and think, “if only they knew...” To this day my boyfriend and I are still together and he adores my natural hair. I believe it is growing on him and he would like for me to keep it in a "fro" so he says.  Today I am with a lovely guy, my highschool crush and he thinks my hair is amazing....If I remember correctly he said "I wish my hair would curl like that" lol.

For all my Natural Chicas or Transitioning sweethearts out there my advice to you is stay educated hydrated and happy. This journey is nowhere near easy! You have to experiment with your hair because just like snowflakes, no two heads are alike. What might work
for me, might not work for you. But if you are transitioning don’t give up,
because trust me, finding yourself behind the chemical stunned ends is worth
it. Love yourself above all and don't let society define your life!

My Natural Hair Journey Video can be found here with my pics: 
© Nearly Hair. Design by Fearne.